Torn Out

There's this place in me
where your fingerprints still rest,
your eyes still linger,
and your whispers softly echo.
It's the place where a part of you
will forever be a part of me.

Sitting here today knowing not the direction at all, I felt myself torturing myself with the crap which I am just able to let it go. I don't know why too. Echoing in me, I felt nothing at all. I hated myself being naive. This is not the very first time I wonder why do I always look in the good and magnified it and ignores all the slandering around me. I am with two very good company with me. But nothing changes. I found no words to put all this into. I felt only stood at a point I do not wanted anything at all.

I asked myself is it just a phrase? I do not know. I was being played out. I was being left there in that part I just stood there not knowing anything. Or I should say I do not wanted to be noticed at all. I know I blog to put everything out. Where I would feel better. But no. I lost every single foundation I was fighting for. Is it worth to keep standing strong? I do not know at this moment. I seriously needed to find my balance. With the memory lingers after reading back post in Rickism, I just can't help to fall back into that very moment I was just waiting for things to be right. A false hope. A false phase. My walls are high. My crave are strong. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to keep numbing myself. Which I know I must not. 


At this moment, I abandon myself. Leaving it just to able to feel. What to feel? I do not know. I just do not know where is this heading. I do not know where am I heading. Tempering with my own pain, or I think its pain. I don't even know what am I talking about. I just felt my heart being thorn out from me. Walking in a soulless form of life. I just do not feel anything at all. Or I should say I do not want to feel anything any more.