ERIC & CIRE

Thank you to my beloved Cornflakes. The word CIRE kinda surfaced. He named my dark side of me. Eric spell the other way round. So I was like what the hell with it. Yes for the past few weeks I am kinda like facing the dark side of what I am. I guess everyone has a dark side. Cornflakes kinda gone through that part of me. And when I am talking about this. I would keep it as easy to be digested as possible. I am sure some of us do have this part of ourselves that we acknowledge or even just ignores sometimes. The only thing I think all of us are afraid is acceptance. Not by ourselves but by the one we loves. I know I did. At that point I remember I distance from everyone. Even to the only person that understands me. Yeah, sometimes for us to go through this phrase of life, we tend to lose those we love and care. I didn't lose them I am lucky to say that. But the distance is there. But life goes on.

For me to meet up with Cire and find the peace between me and him, it was a horrible painful journey. I literally was living in fear. Till the other night Nell help me out. She made me to be at peace with Cire. I cried so hard. And yes after that, it become better and better. But what went down the drain was some of the things I have in life. I do not know how true or right my intuition is but I know many sparks were gone. But I have to keep on living and going on. What I could do now is to be there for my friends who needed me. My main priority will still stays the same. Do I missed the times? Of course I do. I am superbly an emotional animal. But sometimes it takes two to make it right.

And one more thing was a weird event took place last night. My mother called me out of no where, giving me advice. An advice which was based on her intuition. She told me that I need to be standing on my own. And beware of the things that may happen around me. I would somehow could get cheated or something. I know mommy's intuition is never wrong. But it wasn't concrete enough. But I guess it was for my best interest. I knew she has the best intention for me. I am keeping that behind my head at all times.

While Oz now is at full force! I know that 24 hours is not enough for me. Yesterday I was kinda into some sorta collision with the team. Sometimes, I do wish I had that firm stand in life that I have in my music career. I just knew what was right and what wasn't. I wonder if I could ever apply 10% of that to my life, it will just made everything perfect. I recently wrote a new song. "Hold On". Thanks to my cow to make that even possible. Thank you for make it such a beautiful yet powerful song. I will be sharing it to you guys as soon clearance of copyright is done. I wrote this song at a time I had no one to hold on to. Even the only one that I could I just let go on of my hands. I love this part of the lyrics.

I should have kiss you, one last time, I would have held you so much longer if I knew it be the last time. If I could forget you and make all the memories, fade to grey. I don't wanna remember what I foolishly trade in.