Tell me your fears
I won’t push you away
I’ll only pull you near
No, I won’t judge you
I’mma help you through."
- Sia Fuller
There are so many things going on lately I just got no idea where should I even start. There are so many things that put me in a position to actually think about what are the things that is for me. Or should I say for us.
At times, I see life in a way it is so precious. Living with cancer is one thing that force you to actually see things the way it is. No short cuts, no running away. And saying that, I wanna surround myself with the positive people around me. I see from time to time, there will be some people that walked into my life, and right there and then, I just cut them off. One thing I realize, life is too short to even waste my life on those that doesn't cherish what they have. Yes, I do not deny that it really irritates me.
I am living with cancer, a handful or people I love and care for are suffering from terminal illness or even some living with an incurable condition. I was an addict. No.. I should say, I am an addict. I am 17 months clean now, but the crave will always be there. It is something worst than living with cancer. I have to admit that even I don't want to. The question is, there are so many of us are trying to live the right way, not running away and face our demons.
So, the question is, how would you feel when you are trying to do things right, and you see those around you that keeps throwing everything away? Yes I wouldn't deny that everyone yearns for something. But how does it gives a person to throw away a temple of good health when they just felt about their life doesn't go the way they wanted.
I have so much I wanted to write down right here. But I am not going to. Life is one thing I find it beautiful when you know what is the definition of life. You will never have what you wanted, but you will be given what you can handle. All you gotta do is be patient. I waited for a whole 4 years. And I found my anchor.
I am signing off for now heading off to China for a short alone trip. Time to clear my mind and recharge. And here is one thing I wanna share with all of y'all.. And to the special one : " A lot a lot, and muscle. Everyday and every minute... " :)
But piece by piece you collected me
Up off the ground but you abandoned things
And piece by piece you filled the holes that you burned in me
At six years old and no
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
He loves me
Piece by piece
He restored my faith
That a man can be kind
And a father could stay