Love Has No Regrets

Love is sometimes denied,
sometimes lost,
sometimes unrecognized,
but in the end,
always found with no regrets,
forever valued and kept treasured

I read this on a beautiful book. But do I agree to it?! Yes I know I would a week ago. But now, I felt like crap. I know this would be a big blow to what I have written in the past. I am now having such a hard time. I lost all hope and the faith being in love? I don't know.

I wanted not to be like this.  Knowingly with the love I have now I would screw up what I did in the past. In my mind the question kept going on about why and when and how. Maybe I am desperate to get out from this labyrinth of pain. But while I was walking through it again and again. But how can I do so? Yes I do feel way much better after having to see Mr D. Honestly, a sense of peace flows in when I see him with his smile and he is looking better. That was all I wanted. Just to see you healthy and happy. And your patience and listening to me mumbling through. And yet, still gimme that pat on the shoulder telling me I am doing good and just need to swing in to feel myself. Honestly, I do not know how would I do what you did if you were the one that needed strength. All night I was just worrying my fever would do you harm. But you were as you were with that sunshine smile of yours spreading the energy. It is just great to have you around always. I just don't have to be anyone else but myself.

And Mr D, I know I have said this but I am saying it again. You saw how strong you were? Do remember you were meant for this battle. You are stronger than you think you are.

At this moment, with what I have and I know and I am blessed and I should be grateful. But sometimes, scars needed time to heal. Hopefully like what Mr D says 3 months and I will die from it honestly. But yeah, maybe it is time to take a step back and focus a little bit on myself. I guess the neglect I have put into myself have been one of the reason why in the end I fall so hard. For now, just swim with the pain and be what I am.