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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Coming Home

It's a four letter word
A place you go to heal your hurt
It's an altar, it's a shelter
One place you're always welcome
A pink flamingo, double wide
One bedroom in a high rise
A mansion on a hill
Where the memories always will
keep you company whenever you're alone

Well they say it's where the heart is
And i guess the hardest part is
when your heart is broken
and you're lost out in the great wide open
Looking for a map
Finding your way back
To where you belong
Oh well that's where I belong

HOME - the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me
HOME - there ain't nothing but a blue sky now
After all of my running
I'm finally coming...home

Whenever a memory of you appear, it was like me going home. A place where it is safe. I looked at my iMessage for a long long time. I thought I would be able to have the courage to just drop a hello. But somehow I just couldn't. I know I talked about a thing of when you feel like doing anything, just do it without regrets. But at a moment like this, I just couldn't possibly do anything at all. Maybe I am a coward. Even when you were talking to me sometimes, I wish I could just let go. So much conflict in myself. 

Today is just hell for me. The constant attacks of the sensation. I was holding back again and again. I asked myself, why do I need to trouble others when I can deal it myself. What are the outcome? Nothing could anyone do to make all the pain go away. I kept telling myself, Ricky, you could do this. Just have to hold on.  Sinking into Gwyneth Paltrow's Coming Home, I find a little strength in it. I love how the lyrics put itself. And When I took sometime off to rest and watch a movie Waters For Elephant. The last thing the Jacob says in the end was " I am coming Home"

I know somehow I tried to keep myself feeling neutral all the time. Somehow I know there is a soul out there would feel something out of it. But sometimes, I was too tired to hold on to that. I know when you read this you gonna like chopped me into pieces. But all I would say is you know me. I am the same Ricky you knew. I couldn't possibly want anything from you. I know you will always be there for me.I know maybe many would not understand why and how, but one day you will. One day...

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~