Dead End

I have no idea why am I feeling all these emotion at the moment. It felt like I came to a dead end. I am just really concern over Mr D. I felt really distant. Maybe it was my fault initially for staying apart that far. I haven't seen him for ages. And I really have no idea at all what could I do to make things better. The point being said, I am as helpless as he is.

Living a double life isn't something everyone would wanna live in. But sometimes, life just turn around in its own way to play around with us. I know I will never understand what will he be doing through right now. All my mind is just the pain that he is having. I really wish I could share that burden with him.

I feel the broken moments that shattered in front of his eyes. I do not sympathizes him at all. I felt so much empathy for his situation that I actually felt his pain, and my own heart is breaking. Every night in my prayers, I wish I could make it better for him. But there isn't a way for me to choose. There isn't a path that leads me to make him feel better.

Just called Cow. She caught me on hello as usual. Knowing I wasn't feeling right at all. I didn't have to tell her much. She just knew I was in a bad place. It was just a short below 5 minutes chat. But glad I made that call. Somehow I feel a little better. It is always better when hearing someone familiar.

Looping Home now and that is exactly how I feel. Every word meant so much to me. Really wish I could.

A memory we shared. You really meant a lot to me. Just wanted you to be well. And it is from my heart.