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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Vulnerablility

Hey Ric, lets chat!
That was how my day started. Was giving a lot of thinking into what Ron have told me. Somehow I gotta agree with him on that. We were up to our necks for our team to get 4 albums on the road by end of 2012. It has been crazily good. Songs were up and ready for mixing. Recording has been intense. But there is something missing.

So we had a long "bro" talked. Straight in my face, he asked me.
What is missing Ric? Your pieces seems to lack of emotions. Not I am complaining. Yes that we got a handful of really good commercial tunes now. But somewhat I am not getting the usual "Ricky's piece"  outta ya? Do you wanna talk about anything at all? Cause I really  really would love to have those songs in my productions.
I look at him with a blank face, then I smiled. I told him I dunno. It is just like something is missing. But I really got no idea at all why.

He smiled back and say yes he kinda understood. It wasn't like I had the best year this year. Not that I am complaining. It was pretty eventful but just it all didn't came easy. It is still a pretty good one. And drinks after drinks, then this came out from him. Or you are not feeling that vulnerable lately?

I was stunned. It was like my heart skipped a beat. And then, I jokingly says that it was all the moon's fault. Then he smirked and told me this. I nearly fainted.
You knew I dig chicks right?
Oh my god Ron, how could you even think of that? You are like my teacher, my guide and that never struck my mind, like ever. But then as we talk on about the things that is with our lives. I guess I understood what he is trying to tell me. The vulnerability in life that mold us into what we are. And thinking back, I often expressed that part of me into my music.

Thinking back, maybe I was afraid. Ok, I shall cut the crap. I am afraid. I don't know is that a perfect thing for me to do with all the things that are going on in life. I was trying not to give in to the other part of life that could break me. I somehow kinda knew that besides my family now, I got no one with me here. Not that I am complaining about that. But I guess there is a part of us that family couldn't possibly filled in.

I look up at the beautiful morning skies, in this beautiful city, and I thought that what my life be if there is that part that I never wanted it to change. Which I took it years back. I guess this is it. That thing that I never wanna change is a thing that I will never know. And seeking for that same emotions, I think I understood what Ron is trying to tell me about vulnerability.

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~