Darkness Will Not Linger

At 9.41pm local time in LA. It was like I am being struck by thunder. The results are in and at that very moment, the only thought was how painful and sad you were inside but need to put on a smile to tell me. I broke down. I was defeated. Tears drop naturally. I don't know why and I can't explain why I felt that way. It just happen. Until you console me back. I know I must not be defeated.

Mr D, I know deep down it will be tough time for you. But I told you and I gave you my word. I will be there. There is a few things in life I am superbly good at. One is to disappear. And another one is to hunt people down. No matter how far you are going to runaway, or push me away. I will hunt you down to the ends of the world. I am not going to let you do this alone. I know what it feels like going through things alone. You may think that it is the best but seriously I regret after taking that path.

Don't tell me that I have my own concerns in life to manage. I could manage all those myself. You didn't ask me to do this. I wanted to do this. I am not sure you are now alone in the hospital or you are with a family member or a friend. I know deep down you are feeling razor sharp knifes piercing though and though. I know you are bleeding. Don't have to tell me that I gotta smile. I know I will smile when I see you smile. And I know that the smile now is not real. No matter how, I am standing here. And I am not going anywhere at all. I am not defeated. Like I told you, what keeps me going in life is the love those that love me. People like us have to stick together. I would be lying to you if I say I understand how you feel. Cause no one will ever understand how you feel. But I promise to try to be in your shoes. Suddenly, all I am going though doesn't matter any more. Cause I know beyond the world I am living, there are still many more people who are suffering.

You never gave up on me. Please don't give up on yourself. If you do, what am I going to look at? Who am I going to share my life with? What will I do living without my bitch? We are the greatest bitches of all. Please do not ever lemme do this alone. South Korea in February, You wanna be at the first row when Oz premiers. You inspired me so much in life. You help me to stand right up. You are not going to bail on me. Yes I don't deny its hard. That is why I am tearing up. But I know after this, we are going to fight this together. I know no matter what I say now it still gonna hurt. But do not linger. I will not myself. I am gonna get healthier and happier. So are you. Don't you ever give up on me Mr D. Ever. Think about the stupid things we talk about every time. Sinking a plane, shopping till we are broke. Living with just "Sayang Roti"(Brand of a bread). Even our mamak. And M&Ms diet. Don't ever let me do this alone. I still need you. And I know you need me too. Its our year Mr D, it is our year. Lets take every a step at a time.

And I will take every step with you.

And this picture reminds me of you a lot. The things you like and specific "items" you needed from LA.
I want you to be well and come to LA and claim it yourself. Mr D, you can. I know you can.

Isn't this your fav?All I see is your happy face with this cover.