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Monday, January 30, 2012

Blocked Out Of The Heart

Nothing in life seems meaningful
Nothing in life seems beautiful
All I have is love for you
I live for you and only you...

You are the ray of hope I have seen
Nothing in life could be as good as it has been
Don't stay away from me
Ah! My heart longs together to be.

It's been long, very long
You are the one to whom I belong
Life has not been easy
You are the one who could set me free.

Commitments we had shared
So we were ready and dared
How can we get our dream this way
Individually, with time to spare!

Fast days are passing by
Together we got to fly
Now no time to step back
Asking time to set a track.

I live for you and only you
Together I am sure we can make it true
Let's get together and love each other
With nothing in this world to bother.

I live for you, You live for me
This is the way it should be
Because, I live for you and only you
Nothing in life can be as beautiful as you.

After reading this beautiful stanzas by Benhur Saons, I kinda feel why more and more poets and writers all yearns for a love which is proclaimed as self satisfactions. I sometimes wonder am I doing the right thing when everyone thinks I am such a dump ass. Honestly, I don't really care about how others wanna label or claim me as I know I owned myself. Months ago when decided to take on this journey, I knew it was never easy. And deep down, I know I wanted nothing but your health and happiness. I really do  understand that the pain and hardship you are going through in life now. 

I was defeated today. I was talking to Cornflakes about myself and my own problems. But as what he does best, telling me it was the right path and choice. All I have to do is keep loving him and give the best to make it right for myself. As supportive as he was always. 

I know sometimes it felt like being betrayed and sentence to death when you really got no one to turn to. I know I should not feel lost at points like this but I really don't know how. Honestly, I felt disconnected. Something and sometimes, it was just a thing we say hi and brushing off things. I wanted to talk it out, but I am just too far away at the moment to even make things right. 

I really can't read minds My Jo, ( Scottish meaning of dear) But all I felt you felt you will somehow burden and couldn't return the care and love providing to you. And you wanted to just run off the way it is. I was the way you were if what I felt was right. But you changed me to say it is ok to let people into our life and let them love and care. I really don't know what else I would able to make it right. And I know now it is extremely hard for ya and I know it will be tough fighting alone. But I am not asking anything in return from ya. I just wanted to stand by you and do what you have given me. Is that too much to ask I wonder sometimes.. .. ..

Or maybe I am just too tired to feel anything and all are not right. I really don't know. I really wish now that the wish I got would really comes true. May all the love and health filled you and make it right again. You are not alone. I am always just here standing beside you. I held on you all this while. But will you let me hold on to make yours right too?  

When there is love, there ain't any judgement nor  prespective even perceptions. It is just the heart beats that counts and counting every beat is just for you~


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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~