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Thursday, January 31, 2013

In Loving Memories

Local time at 3:40am in the morning. I receive a call from LA. With just simple words.
Ricky, Brandon is gone.
The sudden news of Brandon isn't here anymore hit me. I didn't know how to react, I didn't know how to feel. It didn't hit me until I was listening to Keith Urban's track from the past. It wasn't sudden. But it wasn't also expected. I sill feel the numbness with me. I still don't know how would I actually be now. 

Brandon was one of a kind. We sat along long nights in the studio writing our work. He was the sunshine and he was the clown. Brandon was also going through cancer. I remembered once during chemo, he would joke about doing it more often and together cause it would be fun to do it with a friend. 

Maybe I am still in shock and I still don't know how would it be with life without him around right now. He was always the one who is there to tell me it's a worth while fight to live on and put all those unsaid feeling into our music. He really inspire me to stay true to my roots and he was one of those who really made me feel less lonely when I was going through everything in life. 

What was certain in life is actually just death alone. Everything in i is so unpredictable and uncertain. Things can be good in a second, and the next, everything could have just gone away. When I lost my faith in love, Brandon is the one who always tell me that love is the one thing that we shouldn't lose faith in. Deep down no matter what or how we say, we couldn't possibly understood how our heart works. I remember he once told me. Good or bad, it will turn out ok in the end. Before it feels better, it hurts like hell.

You have fight a good fight Bran.. It just never cross my mind I would lose you this soon. I miss you Bran. I really do. Who will be the one now having left over pizza with me? I still feel the numbness that made me felt empty. God gain an angel, I lose a friend. I miss you Bran..

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