All You Ever Wanted

I suppose that every time when I am in such state, a lot of my past will somehow haunt me. I know I should be writing about my birthday post by now. But just somehow the words will not spill. Being a part of the beginning, it beings much joy to smile back at those memories. And I know no matter how will I be, you will walk me through it.

I guess we both are the only thing that really could rely on. You were more than a best bud to me, you are my family. I somehow realize that when I have no place to turn to, you will be there to hold me. Even the words weren't special, but it meant the world to me. Honestly, after my opt, I felt like things would just turn and change within 13 hours time. And the only thing was true to me was the pain in everyone's eyes.

Dad came and he just told me how proud he was for me to stay on. And the most painful thing that he had was I still have to suffer on. Lying here without able to do anything, I felt the emotions flows through me. I wanted to turn the radio up whenever I hear a simple song. But it can't seems loud enough to get the message through. But when I texted you on iMessage, the only thing you say was what made me calm.

Listening to Hunter Hayes now, I felt that time is really what I wanted. So many things were constantly changing. But yet there ain't anything I could do. After a very long time, I really am thankful that you were here with me through and through. I still haven't break the news to both of my besties that celebrated my birthday with me. In many ways, it wasn't easy for me to tell them what will I be doing. But I know for the longer way to walk on, I have to go through this again. Somehow just wish that this turmoil will end soon. It is eating me from inside out. The ruthlessness of life that wrap me in it's wings. Looking for a way to break away.

But no matter how the situation is, you were always at my back to walk me through. For that, I am thankful.