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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Dangerous Dreamland

From time to time, everyone of us tend to live in a sorta fantasy world. I know at least I do. Guess with what is going on with my body, I find peace when I am asleep and in my own dream world. But it has come to the attention that it might be a little dangerous for me stated by my doctor.

When I am in pain these few days, I have been given morphine shots. I am not saying that is a good thing. But the least, I am free from worldly pain. When I am awake, I started to request for sleeping pills. I didn't realize this myself at first till my doctor came to me and tell me this.

I didn't tell him why actually. But I know myself, being asleep and being able to dream, is one of those peace I was longing for. I guess it is just one of my days. Constant pain attacks. Being in the ward than in my own bed, and having meds as my staple meal. But when I am asleep. I could really live that life that I could. Not being able to be afraid if I don't have my meds with me, not being able to cope with the pain if I am out in the public. Eat what so ever I wanted. Drink whatever I could. And the part of not being alone.

I am not saying that I am alone of I feel that all the time. But at points to points, I have to be alone. Part of being treated, I wouldn't have visitors. Mostly is to prevent from infection. And also it is partly me for not wanting to face reality. I know that reality sucks and there isn't anything I could change about it. But then, when I started to sleep and when I was in my dream, it was vivid. It was surreal. It was the only place that I find no fear, no pain, and no anxiety.

But yet, In ways, I think I am a little over indulging. But how could I give in the chance to find what I am looking for. Am I being obsessed? I think so. But could this just go on for a little longer? I don't know. Maybe it is time to be back in reality. 

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~