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Monday, January 28, 2013

A Sting In The Heart

Everyone will somehow feel this kinda emotions once in a while. And today, it isn't much different for me. So, Barbieland post still gotta be postpone for the time being. Well, this is somehow something that is outta the blue. Honestly, I am feeling helpless. Even though that my medical bills and all I could still handle it myself, but somehow, something is stirring up at home.

I really don't know what is the situation at home to be honest. But I start to sense the tension building up between mom and dad. Honestly, they wouldn't tell me a single thing. To them, I am handling all my medical bills now is already something that they couldn't hope for. Both of them now are retired. But there is something going on. Whenever I am around, they just shut up. Dad even walked out whenever it I was there. I know nothing much I could do. And I know, here isn't anything I could do to help.

But all these couldn't stop me from wondering. I really wish I could do something. All I am feeling is like a blockage and everything doesn't seems right. I know that I should focus on my health at the moment. But being the eldest it just something that I couldn't runaway from. I know by ranting it out here wouldn't do much good but still, hoping for something that could lessen that burden that I am feeling right now.

I really got no idea what I could do but just sitting here like an idiot feeling helpless. If there is a higher power out there, do you really hear me? There is so much I feel and they say you would feel what I feel. Still, you were a complete mystery to me. I couldn't really help to let the tears flow with me. I just wanted the best for my family, and I really wonder how could I give the best to them when I am at a condition like this. Am I really asking too much?

2 comments:

  1. I'm a stranger peering in. but. Can't help but want to comfort. I'm lying in bed feeling much the same. Not sure what the hell i'm doing.
    So I'll lend a ear to listen if need be.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh hey Nate, thanks loads.. Talk to you soon in FB.. I guess its just part of life.. No worries.. I will be fine..

    ReplyDelete

 

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~