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Saturday, December 1, 2012

What May Come Will Go

For years cancer survivors have worried about, joked about, and been frustrated by the mental cloudiness they sometimes notice before, during, and after cancer treatment. Even though its exact cause ain't always known, this mental fog is commonly called chemo brain.
You don't hear much about what happens to our bodies after Chemo. I had problems with Arimidex, causing "Neuropathy type symptoms". All the joint pain I got from using Arimidex, never left.

Also I now have "Connective Tissue disease" an autoimmune disorder. Which causes pain in most or I should say all my joints and fatigue.

I'm 28 but I feel like I am 50, I finished Chemo(4 double AC's) 26 weeks and Radiation, 30 treatments. 

I'm having a hard time dealing with this disease twice, fatigue and joint problems, and I'm still trying to get the weight off after all the steroids. Thought it would be a chemo diet. Thought I'd  lose 20 pounds. No I gained about 30! And I'm tired and achy.

Though the brain usually recovers over time, the sometimes vague yet distressing mental changes cancer patients notice are real, not imagined. They might last a short time, or they might go on for years. These changes can make people unable to go back to their school, work, or social activities, or make it so that it takes a lot of mental effort to do so. Chemo brain changes affect everyday life for many people, and more research is needed to help prevent and cope with them.

What is chemo brain?

Here are just a few examples of what patients call chemo brain:
  • Forgetting things that they usually have no trouble recalling (memory lapses)
  • Trouble concentrating (they can’t focus on what they’re doing, have a short attention span, may “space out”)
  • Trouble remembering details like names, dates, and sometimes larger events
  • Trouble multi-tasking, like answering the phone while cooking, without losing track of one task (they are less able to do more than one thing at a time)
  • Taking longer to finish things (disorganized, slower thinking and processing)
  • Trouble remembering common words (unable to find the right words to finish a sentence)
So far for me, I am still managing it as it comes. And partially I am lucky enough to have learn this part of th process with all the amazing people around me here. But what I am writing about isn't something I wanna share for others to pity but I really do wanna help others that are in the same condition as I am. It has never been easy coping with the emotions that is going like a roller coaster and also having trouble to get things right in my daily life.

For most people, brain effects happen quickly and only last a short time. Others have long-term mental changes. Usually the changes that patients notice are very subtle, and others around them may not even notice any changes at all. Still, the people who are having problems are well aware of the differences in their thinking. Many people don’t tell their cancer care team about this problem until it affects their everyday life.

But what haven't really change for me is taking pictures whenever I could. I guess that is a blessing for me to my daily life I suppose. But to many out there who are suffering from the same condition as I am, be strong. No matter how painful or tired or even emotional you may get, it is just a phase. It will pass. You can see what are the things that stays. Like me, I rant so much on this blog sometimes when I read back what I have written months or years back, what I could say that everything will pass.


  1. be strong. stay strong. fight against all odds ! you can do it ! Cheers.

  2. Stay strong and fight with it!! You got my support!! *Hug* =)

  3. Thanks buddy. I will.. :) Hugs!!!



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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~