Nostalgia

With the focus switch to work, I come to realize I kinda lost touch with a lot of emotions that I have been suppressing. I had a close buddy over after rehearsals tonight. I guess for the first time after a long time, the part of me keeping myself busy and all are answered. Or should I say I slap myself with it. Mr G and I had a long talk tonight. Talking about things we love doing and balancing each other. Or I shall say he was trying to balancing me up tonight with all that I am running away from.

I am really busy with the upcoming musical yes, but I let go a part of me that I use to cherish. The part where not many would think it is a good thing beside those who really knows me. I am glad we were talking about how I was and what I am capable of. But at times, I kinda just brush those aside, thinking that it was ok when it was totally not. Things started to unfold when I sit down and think. 

First, my god brother, during rehearsals, while I was checking on his tone colour, he suddenly popped up this sentence. " We hadn't really sit down and talk for the longest time." I brushes that off that I have been focusing on my work and so on. Now I am asking myself, is this an excuse? It takes only a few seconds just to text and wish them well. Second, I realize I haven't talked to Mr D for days. I don't even know how is he doing. I felt that lost of touch with someone I really cared so much for.

Cornflakes, its already a week. And I guess this is the longest time ever I didn't see him at all. A mail that I should reply 3 days ago from my big 3. I know that all of you understand that I am preoccupied with my work and all and you guys are proud of what I am doing and all. But the thing is do I put any effort at all to even text or call? I even nearly forget today was Alvin's birthday. And I manage to get him in time by luck. 

Met up with my cousin today. And she was all proud on my work and what I am doing. But I kinda didn't put much effort to even ask her out for dinner and stuff. My aunt's mail and calls which till now I have not returned. Maybe tonight is kinda a wake up call for me to get back touch with myself. I needed that balance in me. I will need to look back and think properly about what I am doing. Giving myself excuses all the time isn't the way to do so. Yes, I am busy, but making time like a few seconds to greet and wishing all those I love and care is not so hard to do. I am not doing enough with the love given to me. Or maybe I just needed a good few hours of sleep to recharge. Feeling nostalgic and back to the days when I gave up on myself. 

Tomorrow will be a brand new good day. It will be.