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Friday, April 6, 2012

Nostalgia

With the focus switch to work, I come to realize I kinda lost touch with a lot of emotions that I have been suppressing. I had a close buddy over after rehearsals tonight. I guess for the first time after a long time, the part of me keeping myself busy and all are answered. Or should I say I slap myself with it. Mr G and I had a long talk tonight. Talking about things we love doing and balancing each other. Or I shall say he was trying to balancing me up tonight with all that I am running away from.

I am really busy with the upcoming musical yes, but I let go a part of me that I use to cherish. The part where not many would think it is a good thing beside those who really knows me. I am glad we were talking about how I was and what I am capable of. But at times, I kinda just brush those aside, thinking that it was ok when it was totally not. Things started to unfold when I sit down and think. 

First, my god brother, during rehearsals, while I was checking on his tone colour, he suddenly popped up this sentence. " We hadn't really sit down and talk for the longest time." I brushes that off that I have been focusing on my work and so on. Now I am asking myself, is this an excuse? It takes only a few seconds just to text and wish them well. Second, I realize I haven't talked to Mr D for days. I don't even know how is he doing. I felt that lost of touch with someone I really cared so much for.

Cornflakes, its already a week. And I guess this is the longest time ever I didn't see him at all. A mail that I should reply 3 days ago from my big 3. I know that all of you understand that I am preoccupied with my work and all and you guys are proud of what I am doing and all. But the thing is do I put any effort at all to even text or call? I even nearly forget today was Alvin's birthday. And I manage to get him in time by luck. 

Met up with my cousin today. And she was all proud on my work and what I am doing. But I kinda didn't put much effort to even ask her out for dinner and stuff. My aunt's mail and calls which till now I have not returned. Maybe tonight is kinda a wake up call for me to get back touch with myself. I needed that balance in me. I will need to look back and think properly about what I am doing. Giving myself excuses all the time isn't the way to do so. Yes, I am busy, but making time like a few seconds to greet and wishing all those I love and care is not so hard to do. I am not doing enough with the love given to me. Or maybe I just needed a good few hours of sleep to recharge. Feeling nostalgic and back to the days when I gave up on myself. 

Tomorrow will be a brand new good day. It will be.

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~