Certain and Uncertainties

Since you are gone baby, I have been asking a lot of questions to myself.
So many Questions with Answers, and many more Unanswered.
Even our love is so strong. But it seems I can't really know what to do.
I know at this moment, flashes of memories keep going through my mind.
I know you are definately not well too there.
But what can I do? How can I go and show you my love again?
I really wish that things will be ok in many ways for you.

Living a life without you now is really not easy,
My emotions goes up and down. And I really do not know how to deal with this.
I still feel the pain that I put you in and indirectly the pain lives within me.
I would love you more and more by time goes by.
But somehow I wanted you to know I miss you as much as you do.

I wish to have news from you to know you are well there.
But the answer for this is     -UNCERTAIN

I wish to have your care and love again.
But the answer for this is     -UNCERTAIN

I wish at this point I am by your side walking you through this tough period you are facing.
But the answer for this is     -UNCERTAIN

I wish I can still love you as you happily wedded husband.
But the answer for this is     -UNCERTAIN

Are we still married or everything has ended.
But the answer for this is     -UNCERTAIN

Then what are the things which is certain?

I still love you and misses you every moment in life.
The answer for this is       -CERTAIN


Do you still love me and misses me as much.
The answer for this is       -CERTAIN


Are you still in pain and confused and keep on asking why? why? why?
The answer for this is       -CERTAIN


Deep in you, you are still struggling and still do not know where our course may lead.
The answer for this is       -CERTAIN



At this point in life. How am I going to take a step ahead to just tell you I wanna love you even more now?
I am the one who put you in such pain. I am the one who left you in so much miseries~
Should I let you go?
But the answer of this is     -UNCERTAIN or CERTAIN

 I can't do this anymore.. I really do not know how and what to do.
But the only thing I am sure is I really regretted hurting you and I am very sure I still love you very very much~


God, I need guidance~ Please show me where shall I go from here.
Part of me really wanted to give up my treatments. I do not wanna go through anymore pain.
And talking about pain, Nothing is more painful when the heart is hurt~

Baby~ I love you~ But I do not know what to do from here~