Emotion Over Flowed

Checked into ward B16 bed 02

Suddenly there are a lot of emotions flowing through me.

Back to a year ago at the same hospital in the same ward.

I was here waiting for someone to come who never came.

And now, part of me wanting someone to be here but I drove him away.

Flashing back at the same moment, same feeling arise.

I really hate being here. I have been refreshing your facebook homepage again and again.

But nothing new was there. What was I hoping for?

Your Forgiveness? or your Love~

I am puzzled. I really somehow would hope you would forgive me.

I really do not hope to bring my guilt if I have to leave..

What am I thinking??? I am not going to leave.

I am going to keep on loving you till the very end.

Baby~ I am really sorry for everything~

But why am I feeling so weak? Lost of determination? or lost of hope?

I view through the email you last send me this morning.

Only 5 words.

I love you... very much~

What am I doing now? I know you still love me.

But I do not know the course that will lead us.

And now, even there are a lot to deal with,

I somehow even lost the support from your friends.

They would not approve me to love you anymore.

 But baby~ I really do not know about anything anymore.

The only thing I am sure is I really love you and I really do not hope to let you just go~

For what we have been through. What we have build. 

Can't our love overcome all this?

Lying back down on the pillow, I started thinking. 

Am I even have the rights to say all this?

No~ I do not deserve this. I shud be banish.

But somehow deep down I am still screaming for you to just stay here.

I really really need you now baby to walk me through this period.

But I can't say anything... All I can do is keep on refreshing on your facebook page hoping for something new.

Hoping for news. I really miss you very much baby~

If I could, I really wish to turn back time and have the courage to admit everything to you.

Or even not to even hurt you at the start.

I really wish that all this guilt would have jus flush away.

Filled myself and you with just the love we shared..

I am simply just very 

Lost~