Standing At Crossroads

No matter how I am trying to tell myself everything is gonna be ok,
I keep on thinking how should I see you.
I really wish to see you in many ways. But Where should I go from here?
There are so much going on now and I know isn't really time for us to deal with our things in hand.
As much as I would deny, I still have the guilt in me.

Baby, how do I wish that you are well and happy.
This is my only concern. I know you will definitely be just fine by seeing everything you are.
But what is inside which I really wanna know. I know you suffer a million time more than me.
How would I have any say to that if I knew.

Standing where I am, I feel like I can't take a step forward or a step back.
I can't lie to my heart how bad it is now. But like I say,
Hope is what I am really doing,
Faith is what I am having,
Dreams is what I am going through,
and Love is what I am living for.

It will really means to the world if I had just to see how you really are.
By all means, if I have to pay for the price of doing so.
I stand on what I have done, repaying all the mistakes I have made.
This is life, this is my destiny.

This is really hard for neither of us.
I will be leaving KL on the 17th morning back to my family.
My time is really really limited. How if God just give me one more time to feel your love,
Be able to love you. Be able to be just by your side in a world where just both of us belong.

I do not know why my family opted for me to go home.
But I know they knew staying here in the hospital will even make me feel worst.
Day by day, living through again the memories of the past.
Thank you with my deepest gratitude. I appreciate what you guys are doing for me.

But in many ways, I may not rest,
I need to speed things up with work.
To put my plans on hold is not a big thing.
But if to put your life on hold it is a huge issue to me.
I will not let you bear all the burden yourself.
Even you would push me away in many ways.

I have wasted almost 3 weeks now being sick.
I think I have to fight back. Time is on the go.
I shall not rest, I shall not let this happen to us.
I see my way, I see my path. But non of them are without  you.
I will still hold on till the very end.
Even if you may not choose to let me back in your life.
I know what I want. Reading back on most of my post in 2008.
I was hoping for the right person to appear in my life.
And it has happened to me. For the first time in my life.
I will stand up to what I want. A future that I want.
And everything has you.

Looking at Elmo again, I just smile and say,
Baby, I love you~