The First Four Hours

I successfully waiting through the first 4 hours.
Somehow till now there are still no sign of you.
I know you told me you are not coming over already.
But I wish you wouldn't deny me the permission to see while I am still healthy.

Keeping my faith strong now. Sitting in McDonalds.
I kept looking at every person who walked up here.
How silly am I still hoping for you to come even you have told me you won't come.

It is raining quite heavily earlier, and now I am feeling quite cold.
But I know it takes more than this to break my will to wait.
Looking at the dark skyline of  Kuala Lumpur.
It looks a like with the feeling I am currently going through.

Somehow I do not really know what and how I would react if you came.
But I can't deny part of me is waiting faithfully here.
Baby, I rather you look at me when I am skinny and bald.
But not lying on the hospital bed.
I pluck in the head phone and listening to Leona Lewis "Footprints in the Sand"
Again and again. The only way I feel my world is calm and peaceful.

Everything surrounding me seems so noisy.
I know that when I leave KL tomorrow I will be doing so with a heavy heart.
Baby, I know you are trying to run away from reality.
But this is not the way. But I can't tell you how I feel.
I am so tired of crying here everyday. Screaming for your happiness, your peace.

You are not the only one who is in pain.
I am gravely in pain with you. As much as you won't believe,
I know how you feel cause every pain reflects deeply in me.
How can I show you that the world is still a beautiful place.

I feel so embarrased now as my tears are flowing out naturally.
My heart hurts as much as you do baby.
How can I walked you out of this. I really wanna make you happy as you were.
But I really can't do this. My body is aching as I am typing this. But the pain is relatively nothing compare to the pain of the heart which is beating every minute.

I tried to be as strong as you wanted. I have tried to be as well as you want me to.
But why does it still ache? why does it still hurt?
And why are both of us torturing ourselves?
Or is the love being cursed? being damn to hell or eternity?
Why is there so many questions and no answers?
The only thing I know is waiting for you faithfully here.

I dare not even say a thing anywhere that you may see my true feelings here.
Our love is all just a waste? Our love really meant nothing at all to you now?
Our love is really not worth saving at all?
For a million times I really do understand your stress and concern.
But time is what I can't have now.

I am not blaming anyone. I blame myself for what I have done.
I deserve all this. But you do not. Why aren't you helping yourself?
Why keep running away. The only thing I see is you will be in more pain.
And I can't help to feel every bit of the pain in you.
It kills me every moment in life.Every second.
I screwed up. But please let me make it right again.
That is all I want from you. Your happiness.

I just wanted to say a proper goodbye to the person I love.