Reply From James~

James Loo July 9 at 11:33pm

u r right baby, at this point of time, it's good for us to remain this way, it's painful everyday, every minute every second. i just dun wanna think of anything now but to focus on clearing the debt and my exam. i wish that i could pass and start doin call soon. i dun wanna think and i dun wanna worry....i need to stop torturing myself...

please take good care of urself there... at least i dun have to worry bout u... 

As for now, I really do not know how to react to this reply.

Baby, I am really not well now. I can understand you pain.

I feel your pain too. I am in pain as well.

But I am also scared. My body may not take it.

I am really fighting so hard now baby.

I know if I lost the fight now, I will even put more pain in your life.

I have to get well... ...  but how... ...

Cuz I think I gave you enough pain in life.

I really wish I am able to do so.

I won't let you worry. I won't say a single word.

Lying in the ward now even makes me feel worst than ever.

How am I going to go thru this.

Baby, I love you but I do not know how to let your pain go away.

I wish I am able to take it all away now, or even have your pain in mine.

But I really don'y know where I should go from here.

Reading this reply just feels like there isn't anymore air to breath.

I lost you... ... But I know I will still hold on on our love...

Cuz this is the reason I am fighting to live.

I am very weak today. But I am still fighting. 

I really wished that you were here now.

And I just wanna ask for forgiveness from you.

At least if I have to leave the world, I know I will go in peace.

But till today, the pain I am going through is greater than anything else.

I know nothing would comes near to a heartache.

I indeed have hurt you so badly, I regretted it.

I wish the pain would go away... In you and in me...

Maybe one day... ... soon... ... 

But I know till the day I lost the battle with cancer... ...

That is the moment I will let go. If it isn't so, I will still

Hold on~