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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Significant Moment

4:44pm 4th April

I actually didn't really realize the time when I was writing this till I was thinking about what title this post will be. Another usual day just having my own time writing my work. Expressing in my music. Eventually, choices are left here on the plate. I realize now, the more I wanna pour my heart out, the more I couldn't write anything.

I have a confession to make here. But I am not sure I will talk about it in this post yet. But rest assure, I didn't manage to get it done. Feeling all mellow now in the cooling afternoon here, everything seems like I could possibly runaway from all the things I always wanted to run from. Well, being perfectly honest, I guess things are starting to settle down I think.

Listening to Leona Lewis's Run on my iPod and just strolling down the street just to get some inspiration. I realize there is so much that things has change for me. In a good way. Maybe it is the way I write I suppose. People might felt that it was a little overwhelming. But I am in a very good state. 

From everything that I have been through these few months, I guess all are writing gold to me. At times, I do ask myself, should I still keep that up? Or should I just be touching the surface? Well, those who will always know how I feel are just too far away from me. Not that I am complaining. But just I miss Rainer and G so much. I really do. Oh my... I really am tearing up with just listening to Run and thinking of them.

Mr D is really under so much stress lately. I really sometimes ask, is that a good thing or it is just a lil too much for him to handle. But... I know nothing could change his mind. But just silently standing here with him. D, there is so much I wanted to tell you. But I know you know what I am feeling too. You know nothing matters to me but just that one thing I always wanted for you.

I read this before in the past that really hits me.
"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."
Well those who reads novels would know which book this is from. Well, a lot of things, that we wanna see and feel are really what our perceptions towards it at that point. Some may see it as a painful event, but some see it as a lesson learnt. So many things that has been given, I feel everything is just in place for me finally. At some point it does.

Everyday passes with just one reason for me to keep things going on. In my life time, I really see everything is somehow a blessing. Living on with the right regrets. Even I couldn't hear your voice, I will be right here waiting. For everything, I could finally say I am contented. Spring is finally here, I guess time for everything in winter to pass on. Giving in to what life has to offer. 

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