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Monday, March 11, 2013

Explosive Vibe

What exactly I am feeling right now. Again, been hiding in my own music for the sake of keep fighting on. Or maybe I was just looking for some ways to hide from the reality. Somehow, pop-rock music is my choice yet again. Big explosive voice, great musical scores, great arrangement for me to hide within.

There are so many things that is going on right now, but in a way, there is something that wanted me to keep going on. And to be prepared of the up rising physical and emotional conflict. Yet one of those things that kept me sane is my music.

Without knowing what was the reason behind it, I just somehow choose Demi Lovato and left it on my playlist. This is what really is sometimes when you just don't expect what is coming from it. Suddenly that kinda explosive vibe starts to build. Even with those simple ballads, you feel that vibe in that voice. When I loop Heart Attack, you somehow felt that expression that she wanted to put in her music. of course I think if without those autotune will make it better but I understood ain't many artist can do that. But still credits to her.

Especially this song that she did on her Unbroken album. For The Love Of A Daughter, that song was so honest, so raw. It really put all she has there on the table. Honestly, I really have a lot of respect to those artist that really allow themselves to be so vulnerable on a track. It is getting more and more rare to have people that do that any more nowadays.

I was asking exactly the same thing to myself. How much more I would let myself to put on the table. What do I wanna express in music. Do I really wanna write another hit or write something really personal. There are so much going on but would I wanna put it in my music. Or I should say would I wanna allow that to happen. As much that I am feeling right now, I guess only a few knew what exactly but would I wanna put it out there.

As the question lingers, the space I feel putting me apart from the real world. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. But what honestly, without Mr D and Leo, I think I have broken down a long time ago. But anyhow, sanity is still intact within. Maybe I really need a new job. Being a song writer sometimes really is like killing myself slowly. Exploring those emotions that most people would run away from. But when I read one of the tweets by people I know or random ones about my songs, it doesn't matter any more.Oh God!!! Imma so fickle minded.

But for now, I should utilize what I have now to start writing. Well, I know if I sink, I will have my life line ready to pull me out. Again, I am thankful to have them around me all the time. 

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