At the back of my mind, it somehow just ring the bell that when there are the good days, the bad ones will come.
So far, fingers crossed, it hasn't really been really a bad day since late August. Of course the on and off physical reaction will be there but those that make me wanna give up living didn't really happen much. I'm not gonna jinx it or anything, but just somehow wanted to be realistic and be ready for it. Yeah, I know that being ready is just crap you can't be ready to face this kinda crap. Zombie's aunt is now struggling from cancer too. The thing about cancer is that it is totally unpredictable. You can be in so much pain and hope doesn't seems to be there, and next, poof, all is back to normal.
Every cancer patient is relatively different. The thing about it, our body reacts in a different way to medication. And cancer is one bloody smart ass. It can evolves. I have my google alert on anything that is regarding about how cancer can be cured. But sadly, that alert didn't buzz as much as I wanted it to be. Yes, no doubt many people survived cancer. But it is never been cured. Not that I am losing hope or anything, but sometimes I can't deny the fact that there aren't much progress at all year after year. All we do is trying to slow down the growth, kill them and constantly hoping it will never comes back.
I wanna think that this hope for a total cure is possible. Year after year, more and more diseases has a cure. I am just wondering when will it be my turn. When we were flying this morning, I asked Cow one thing. Do you think heaven is as peaceful as where we are now? All she did was held my hand and we didn't even exchange words. Yes the excitement was there, but at that moment, all I needed was a friend and I had one with me there. That one hour plus in the sky was just devine..
Work hasn't been progressive for the past week. Maybe now I am trying to get to the place I needed to be. And somehow I guess it is working. Being happy is one thing, and being good is just another. With all these overwhelming emotions that is surrounding me, somehow I have to say I am good. And maybe that is more than enough to me. Maybe for now it is. And well, 2 in the morning and I am still here in the studio. Just the place I wanna be right now.
P/S - I just realize it is relatively safe for me to post pictures with the people I work with here on my blog. and imma glad on that.