When It Was Cold Again

I find myself lost in the mist of cold breeze. The fog was thick yet it was warming. I don't know it was just me or it's just I am blocking all the emotions. Sometimes, I really suck at just hiding myself. As much as I wanna deny this, but it is so hard to forget.

I really wish I could jus forget about what we had in the past. It really meant so much that sometimes it is so hard to breath. I'm caught within the temptations of my past. I wanted to let everything go at the moment. But it isn't really possible.

Sitting where we were, I couldn't help but just smile at the memory we once had. It isn't a sad thing at all. I don't know why but it isn't at all. The emotions that twirl inside is isn't sorrow neither the other way round. Weird right? I wish I could tell why. But anyhow, I am feeling this weird mixture for sure.

But saying that, there is a thing that is really disturbing me. My mom. I don't know why but there is a really strong emotions. It is like I didn't really had a chance to. I have to lie that imma feeling exactly fine. I really couldn't bare that exact emotion that will portray in her face. I wish things would be easier. I really do wish it was.

For a beauty that we breath in everyday, the luxurious of able to feel, I am kinda thankful to that beauty of life. It is exactly how I wanna live. Maybe this isn't a choice that everyone would choose but definitely I would. I'm thankful, I'm grateful, i know I'm being loved. Everything will be left beautifully but regrets.