Am I Not

The cycle of letting go is a process. Whenever we were just asking ourselves what am I made for in the world. It is just a beautiful disaster. I suppose most of us will be going through life the way we never expect. Some ups and downs in the process. What I really find warmth is no darkness lingers forever. And as irony as it is, no happiness will last forever too. Nothing we feel or touch last forever.

I had the best time in my life. Having 3 beautiful souls flew in thousand of miles just to be with me. They were just more than I could ask for. I needed her to be here. For the last 11 years, she was nothing but a blessing to me. She is one person who really believed in me more than anyone will ever do. (Expect my family)

What is better than having these beautiful souls to just be beside my bed and talked through the night. Listening to sappy songs and seeing life in our own way. One thing I am really happy for her is after all these years, she found someone to love and loving her back. Reminded me of Baby J a lot. But I am happy that after all these years, I finally able to see the light and learning to let go.

At times of being alone, but not feeling lonely. Nothing can keep me from loving you. Like what she says, what really matters is what our heart is beating for. The world may say you an idiot but they don't have a say cuz no one will ever understood what the pressure is on. Good or bad, the part that friends is being there is all that matters. We did talk about Mr D too. Somewhat, we kinda agree that only time and space we could possibly give him at the moment. But nothing could possibly changed the fact how much we missed him.

As being Asian, there is also that external factor that others will see what are we doing. Some outta concern, some outta just wanting to compare.Believe it or not, being in the music industry, I get that a lot. Many were skeptical about my profession. Many see is a social suicidal attempt. I look back for the past 10 years of my music career, I am kinda proud of myself to bring myself to where am I. I remembered that because to shut my extended family, I took up day jobs and all. But there came a point, I asked myself. Am I not happy with what my dream ought to be? It took me years to realize that part of life.

4 more days now, I really am pretty calm to be honest, I guess it is time for me to just go with how things could be. For the record, I still haven't break the news to Mr D yet. Will do it really soon as time is running out. Anyway, imma gonna have a great Sunday, i can't wait for what is about to happen. Gonna like get a shut eye now. I can't wait to head to ILA 2012. Hope things goes well.