Bleeding With Melody

Listening to Christina Aguilera and Chris Mann cover of the prayer, reading the beautiful lyrics written by Hilary Scott which I just got in the mail. ( I just realize what a great artist Christina Aguilera is. How I wish one day I would get a chance to work with her? Just a random thought.) I really do admire all the lyricist. With just a tune we pass to them, a little small talk, and there you go. One beautiful lyrics that puts life to a melody.

I understood how and where Hilary is coming from. You really put it at heart. Every single word. Thank you for that. After of hours watching MTV's Awkward, I finally end up with a stiff neck. Great! 

But just lying here on the bed and listening to my playlist, I kinda felt left out in many ways. The things I have done and all. I misses my bestie a lot. My angels, and especially Cow! I didn't get time to spend with her much now and then. Just feeling pretty much mellow.

I wrote another song earlier. I am in the mist of wanting to sell it or just keep it. So far, I showed Adam for judgement. And when I start seeing tears in his eyes, I just stop the song and told him it is enough. I don't know. Sometimes, I blame Ron for driving me into this vulnerable mode. But work is work. I know.. Still trying to find my balance point. 

There are a few songs now in my mind kept playing. And somehow the memories aren't strong as it use to be. Bravo! Keep it up Ricky! It will be 4 years soon. And I should be proud rite?

I was talking to a buddy earlier in the evening. And he told me I was a strong soul. Strong? I am not sure.. Or I am trying to be strong? I am just Ricky! That little kid who just dreamed of a world that music would unite every soul. The kid who dreamed of the ultimate romance. The kid who dream of the love 2 souls could bring to others happiness. I know it is just a dream. But I choose to live that dream even life has tried in many occasion to  kill it. 

I don't really know. Reading back my post in 2008 till today, I realize that how much I could be and how much I learned. But I couldn't lie to myself that emptiness is never being filled. That hallow was always there. And I never really try to fill it. I was just walking by life as what I wanted it to. I don't know how can I be. 9 more days now. I know life isn't gonna be that kind to me to grant me what I wanted. Its been 7 years now, giving in isn't a choice. I have come through so far. It will be really a waste if I do go down. Anyway, I don't wanna think about it now. 

I really wish I could just tear myself apart and get that "Not So Good Feeling" that is twirling within me. Trying to comfort myself in songs that are filled with hope and encouragement doesn't really help. Sigh.. I seriously in need to control over all these. Maybe like what Mr D said was right. It is easy to be strong and positive for others. But when it comes to oneself, things are not that easy to deal with. 

Anyway, I am gonna like continue watching Awkward till I fall asleep or something. When Music doesn't helps, Sitcom would help??!?!?  Worth a try. And again, thanks Hilary for ya beautiful work! You are just amazing. Lots of love!

The weather reflects my emotions.

Here with you, here with me

Life is so beautiful

Close my eyes, try to see how it might have been

Had we not ever met

One twist of fate

One look too late

What if we never met on that corner

What if that chance had just passed us by

What if we kept walking

And never walked into each other's eyes, each other's eyes

What if that light changed

What if we turned away

What if we never turned around

Where would we be now?

One day you're on your own

And everything's the same

Then you're soul finds the soul that seems to know your name

Nothing will be the same

One point in time, two hears collide

What if we never met on that corner

What if that chance had just passed us by

What if we kept walking

And never walked into each other's eyes, each other's eyes

What if that light changed

What if we turned away

What if we never turned around

Where would we be now?

Could have overlooked you

Might have looked right through you

And let the moment slip away

And never seen your face

What if we never met on that corner

What if that chance had just passed us by

What if we kept walking

And never walked into each other's eyes, each other's eyes

What if that light changed

What if we turned away

What if we never turned around

Where would we be now?

What if we never turned around

Where would we be now?