When The City Stop Sleeping

The way we could see the world is how we wanted to see it. When the time comes, you will eventually love the way everything is. I kinda had the taste of it. 7 days to my operation, yet, I feel as good as I am now. As what they say, when life gives you lemons, we make lemonade with it.

I had a short conversation with "The Water Dragon" (LOL, I know he will have that blank face when he reads this :P) Talking about my sons. Oh how much I missed them now. But that is another story. Sometimes, it is the way on how we really see how things can be. I find that a lot of times, we usually give in to the way it is and we feel that we have no choice at all. 

I wouldn't say that it is that. Its all a matter of choices. I mean we are human anyway. I admit I am a train wreak when it comes to emotions. I have like zero tolerance in pain. Whenever I had pain attacks or whatever, I will write things that only I understands. I seriously got no idea where did those comes from after reading them again when I was okay.

It's Friday and I know it is gonna be a great day when I wake up in the morning. I learned to accept that sometimes, we really gotta learn how to let go on what we really see with our eyes. We are in control of a lot of things we feel. I know there are many more people who are suffering out there with things that they couldn't change. I am a CA patient, and honestly, there are times, I wish everything would just go away and I am just me. But I know that it is never gonna happen. I choose to accept it and let it be the way it is. I choose to be happy with myself. But we tend to forget, there is always a silver lining in everything we go through. There is a rainbow after the storm. And I think we gotta choose the best way to save ourselves. Many times, I do think I have not done enough to make it better. But when the doors are slammed right behind, no matter what I wanna do, I won't be able to reach the other side. 

I have been reading a few really amazing blogs. It made me realize how wonderful we could make out with what we have than being miserable about how things are. They really made the best of what they have. It is really inspiring and it is really heart felt. They were people who lives in worst condition than I am. Some cripple to a deaf person, from leukemia to HIV. They were really amazing. I see they way they wanna convey their message. No matter how much they wanted to change the way they are, they accept what they are and gives back even more than what they are. They were really larger than life. And I kinda get what message they wanted to send. 

And there is a song that fits in perfectly. The lyrics of this vers fits in perfectly. They are proud of who they are. Not what they have. The person that they are grown into. It is sending that message to the world that they couldn't have the best, but doesn't mean they can't be the best.

It's time to begin, isn't it?
I get a little bit bigger, but then,
I'll admit, I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am?

" My hands are always here to hold you, but will you let me hold you to walk you through ?"

This really hits me, we will never able to if they are not ready. So, I guess I sent my message clear here. I am always here, just waiting till you are ready. I am not going anywhere. Will be here and always be.

They really inspire me in so many ways. Thanks for all the love.

So this is what you meant when you said that you were spent?
And now it's time to build from the bottom of the pit right to the top,
Don't hold back
Packing my bags and giving the academy a rain check

I don't ever want to let you down
I don't ever want to leave this town
'Cause after all
This city never sleeps at night...

So this is where you fell, and I am left to sell
the path that heaven runs through miles of clouded hell,
right to the top
Don't look back
Turning to rags and give the commodities a rain check

I don't ever want to let you down
I don't ever want to leave this town
'Cause after all
This city never sleeps at night...

This road never looked so lonely,
This house doesn't burn down slowly,
to ashes, to ashes...

It's time to begin, isn't it?
I get a little bit bigger, but then,
I'll admit, I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am?