Standing On My Own

A relatively more relax day for me today. But I am kinda like being screwed over by my own. I don't really know how to put it in words. Call it period or whatever. But sometimes, writing music really is taxing. It is like when you allow yourself to feel that much but when ya work is done, you just got no idea at all how to keep everything.

I am trying to avoid music that are easily drawn to those emotions. Playing Jekyll & Hyde The Musical sound track. Trying to keep myself on neutral ground. Some way I knew that I need to keep myself as positive as possible. It is just 12 more days to the big day. In many many ways, I am trying not to feel or think about it.

Sometimes, I wish I could be in control more over all the emotions that is flowing through me. I remember I told a friend about sometimes I wish I could do more. I really don't know how to just be like others did. I really envy them. But I guess that is what made me who I am today.

Everyone has a mask with them. And there aren't many that we could just lose the mask and being ourselves.  I kinda feel that the bond is being thorn apart. I wish I knew why. But I really don't. Grr.. I am not sure what I am crapping here! I think it is best that I go hunt for Ice-cream now. Feeling all these isn't helping me at all!

I stared at the monitor and I got no idea at all what am I doing. Sigh.. End up I took some pics and playing with colours editing. I love this new mask I just bought. It cost me like 35pounds for that thing. But I still love it.