Mirror

Who we are are just reflective self when use our heart to see the world. Even when things went the way you didn't wanted it to be. But no matter how, life is something still worth living on in many ways. One of the things that kept me sane these few days is the blog by Two Horns Child. I don't know, somehow he manage to make me take my mind off the things I waned to.

Well, was talking to Pia on twitter today. There are so many questions that I always avoid. Like "how are you?" for instance. Cuz somehow I knew the answer I am gonna say isn't genuine to begin with. But she was somehow right, I can't run away forever. But me as usual, I diverted the conversation to her music instead.

Somehow it didn't really hit me much till when Mr D told me he was so tired this morning and he has forgotten if he had taken his meds or not. Honestly my heart was pounding real hard when he told me that. Somehow he wasn't suppose to miss even a dose at all. I mean since he is doing well now, I didn't wanted anything bad to happen to him. Maybe I don't really know much but I am just not ready to face anything bad that might happen to him.

And out of no where, it just somehow hit me why am I actually panicking when I was suppose to be just by his side no matter what. And it just went on the other way from there. A big part of me really am thankful to have him. I know sometimes I am unreasonable when my emotions are everywhere. But he was always patient with me somehow. Even that I couldn't imagine how he is facing his pain, but he still put everything aside for me. So to make up to him, I will be reminding him on his meds time daily for the whole week.

Well, maybe I just needed some ranting tonight and have more positive energy to cultivate. A big part of me is extremely tired right now, and I just didn't wanna face what is just right in front of me. Maybe a 24 hour period for me to digest what went wrong somehow. I know writing my music now is perfect timing. And thankfully to have the great Adam Watts and Garninn Arnold, they really know where to bring me where I needed to be. Writing with them is always a great experience. The mirror of where I am now is just a part of my soul telling me "I am yours" I can't seems to keep myself awake now. So till then, signing off now. And  last but ain't least, Happy Fathers Day to my amazing Daddy who is always here for me. I love you Dad!