Last Words In A Song

This morning is different. I can sense it, I feel it. I am awake. For the first time in a long time, I am awake. I welcome the day. For the first time in a long time, I feel good. Today I commence myself it's ok to give up. Don't take risk, stick to the status quote no drama, now is just not the time. Though my reasons aren't reasons, they are excuses. All I am doing is hiding from the truth and the truth is I am scare. I am scare that for a second if I let myself being happy, my world will just crumble down.

But I am happy. After everything that is being thrown at me. I should be happy. You love me not because I was fragile. But for the person that I am. All my fragile strength is gone. I feel like I was being pulled into this whirl pool that I couldn't possibly be in control. And that frightens me somehow. But one thing I know that all this while, I was just keeping it down. Something always brings me back to you.

I finally finish the last piece of the whole score of my song. Weird enough, I was just lying on the bathroom floor while it came to me. It was just like I was being touched and drawn into all this beautiful part of life. Losing the battle once a while is just ok, the war is not being determine on just one lost. Just one little piece that I feel and now the song is completed.

Something always does bring me back to this place. Memories we have is such an amazing and powerful tool that we never really realize what the impact that we could have on us. Roads are just in front of me. But will I be taking the main street or the back alley. It is just something I need to know. It feels so far away even you were just standing right in front of me. All I need is just I myself have to believe. I just need to believe it will be alright from here on.

And sometimes, I wish I could really sing. I know I can write good music, but singing just didn't come with the package. Just a random thought. But I know the feeling will be as moving when you listen to what you have written comes to live for the first time. Listening and hope that people can hear me. All the prayers and feelings within me, it is just less lonely when someone just listen to your music and relates to it in their own beautiful memory.

Life is wonderful. And my life with music, is just perfect. I just wished that the last word that came from the song was "Stay". The last words that I meant to say.