Things You Wanted

Human beings, need a lot of things to feel alive. Family, love, sex. But we only need one thing, to actually to be alive. We need a beating heart. When our heart is threaten, we response in one of two ways. We either run, or we attack.

There's a scientific term for this. Fight or flight. It's instinct. We can't control it. Or can we? 

When you thought you knew a person, without a doubt, you would say, " I do know that person." But more than we know, there is a possibility here. Given a choice for loving or staying. Your instinct tells you to run. A sane person who values his values in life would run and gives the other a chance to live. A normal and care free life to live.

Trying to put things in perspective. When you know dying is just a part of life, but what else would you do to put it in perspective? You just can't. For 7 years, I had to live for the choices of my doctors. The guys that cut me open, decides the one choice that was mine. 

And now, I have this heart that beats. I wanna get the choices I make. I wanna get to make my own decisions. I wanna get to be like everybody else. I wanna have my own life. Do the whatever damn hell I choose. 

This is part that I know I couldn't choose. I couldn't choose you. You are the one I wanna wake up with, and go to bed with, and do everything in between with. But I just never get to have that choice. I don't get to choose. I wanna stop fightin myself, but I know I just can't. I don't wanna do this to myself. But can I? 

There are a lot of things I need. There are a lot of emotions I want. There are so much but all are just something that fades away soon enough.