Taj Dubai To Open In March 2015

Taj Hotels Resorts and Palaces is set to launch its second Dubai property in March.

The Indian group will open Taj Dubai in the emirate's Downtown district, close to the Burj Khalifa. It already operates the Taj Palace hotel in Deira.

The 296-room property will have seven food and drink outlets, including Indian and Peruvian restaurants, as well as a spa and a members-only business club called Chambers.

The group is due to open a property under its Vivanta by Taj brand in Dwarka, south-west Delhi, in January. Located 20 minutes' drive from Delhi Indira Gandhi International airport, it will have 250 guestrooms as well as dining, spa and meeting facilities.

A 283-room property is scheduled to open at Mumbai International airport's Terminal 1C in April.

Taj now provides free wifi to in-house guests across all of its 125 hotels.

tajhotels.com

Giving In

I decided to snap out from all that pity party that I was throwing myself in. Maybe, for once I should let myself go and giving in to the fact that nothing is going to change no matter what I want or need. I don't have that luxury to even want those torture to go away.

So what the heck. For all I know, if things goes as planned, I know I would have a little something to look forward to next week. Some good wines, maybe a 1991 Harlan Estate Cabernet Double Magnum, some good Italian dinner, champagne after? Brunch at Thirty8 one of my favorite place with my bestie, beers and pizza, gossip all night long with Leo, and staying at somewhere nice and decent. Maybe have a new tattoo? I missed Zombie, but I'm sure it won't be possible to see him. Why? Let's just not go there. All I am saying is, I really need this break from everything that is going on in my life. And for now, I just needed this so bad. Oh, did I mention ciggarettes? How ironic it is a terminal cancer patient wanting to have cancer sticks! But whatever, it's gonna be 24 hours with no rules and restrictions. Well, there is one, but well, I'll be with Leo all the time. I have a good annoying baby sitter and I think I'm in good hands. 

For what it's worth, giving in to the cold fact isn't that bad. (Maybe so far after my first dose I haven't felt the side effects kicking in just yet.) I guess for a long time now since September I haven't had that chance to sit back and give myself a break from all the crap that is going on. There is suddenly like so many things that popped up in my head that what I wanna do. Through out this period, one thing I found out that in Asia, the amount of people who are organ donors, people who are unaware of STDs, people who are having depressions, undiagnosed HIV victims, bully victims, domestic violence, and sexual and drug abuse. The list could go on and on, but there are always that cause to look into. Maybe at this point in time, colorectal metastasis hasn't a cure but there are still are some probable cause for all of us to look into. 

I am not judging anything, but the fact is, I was one of them. I had a strong team of support from my family and friends. I had that strength that pulled me out of my addiction. But looking at what is going on out there, do I wanna just not doing anything? Especially in my home country. Soon to be my former home country. One thing I will always remember, the time when it slaps me and make me realize what was I even thinking while I wasted that whole 2 years of my life. If only there is anything I could do, I would definitely trade places with you. 

I know that this post seems like to be in a messed and it's all over the place. But one thing I realize it is such a messed because when I took a step back and think, sometimes, it is not just about me and how my cancer affects my life. Yes, it will always be a thing that I go through every single day, and it's a fact that is not going to change. But out there in this world, everyone is going through something. Something that might be minor, or even worst than what I am going through. But what do I see from all of it? What I know now, is that loneliness that is killing you inside, that is a fact that I live with every day. So do I wanna just do nothing about it? Or at least put in the effort to make someone I care and love smile a little today?

There are always that choice we make every day. A minor one or a major decision. But no matter what decide on, we should be clear on where are we heading to. Yes I am flawed. I'm not denying that. But I remember someone once told me, a little change a day. That's all it takes. And yes indeed, that effort really paid off. Just not far back in the past, I was just a stray that no one wanted, an addict, and struggling to stay afloat in the music industry. And looking back now, what more could I ask for? (besides a heart donor with O neg type) I can't say my life isn't good, I can't say that I don't have a loving family, I can't say I don't have genuine friends and I can't certainly say my life is pathetic. Without all this crap, I won't be me now. I wouldn't love the life that I have now, I wouldn't appreciate the good in my life, and I wouldn't even see the sufferings of others around me. All these things going on are epidemic and one thing this world will never see all these, because of one single reason. The society. So the only question left is do I wanna give in to be a narcissist selfish prick or I should give in to all the good around me? 

P/S - I still think this is such a messy post. And I'm gonna blame it on my first dosage. 😝

Being Good

Being good. I don't even know why am I writing about this either. Maybe I just wanted to keep writing so the laziness in me just won't kick in somehow. Today was just filled with terrifying excitement, crunching time in the studio and great company. At the back of my mind, it somehow just ring the bell that when there are the good days, the bad ones will come. 

So far, fingers crossed, it hasn't really been really a bad day since late August. Of course the on and off physical reaction will be there but those that make me wanna give up living didn't really happen much. I'm not gonna jinx it or anything, but just somehow wanted to be realistic and be ready for it. Yeah, I know that being ready is just crap you can't be ready to face this kinda crap. Zombie's aunt is now struggling from cancer too. The thing about cancer is that it is totally unpredictable. You can be in so much pain and hope doesn't seems to be there, and next, poof, all is back to normal. 

Every cancer patient is relatively different. The thing about it, our body reacts in a different way to medication. And cancer is one bloody smart ass. It can evolves. I have my google alert on anything that is regarding about how cancer can be cured. But sadly, that alert didn't buzz as much as I wanted it to be. Yes, no doubt many people survived cancer. But it is never been cured. Not that I am losing hope or anything, but sometimes I can't deny the fact that there aren't much progress at all year after year. All we do is trying to slow down the growth, kill them and constantly hoping it will never comes back. 

I wanna think that this hope for a total cure is possible. Year after year, more and more diseases has a cure. I am just wondering when will it be my turn. When we were flying this morning, I asked Cow one thing. Do you think heaven is as peaceful as where we are now? All she did was held my hand and we didn't even exchange words. Yes the excitement was there, but at that moment, all I needed was a friend and I had one with me there. That one hour plus in the sky was just devine.. 

Work hasn't been progressive for the past week. Maybe now I am trying to get to the place I needed to be. And somehow I guess it is working. Being happy is one thing, and being good is just another. With all these overwhelming emotions that is surrounding me, somehow I have to say I am good. And maybe that is more than enough to me. Maybe for now it is. And well, 2 in the morning and I am still here in the studio. Just the place I wanna be right now. 

P/S - I just realize it is relatively safe for me to post pictures with the people I work with here on my blog. and imma glad on that. 

Fighting Addictions

Once again, here I am standing at a point where I question myself again and again. It is like a never ending war with myself. Not that I do not appreciate what life has given me, but being in the music industry, it is just a part of it. The sex, the drugs, the people around and all the crap of what others may throw towards you.

I love what I am doing, and I know what are the pros and cons being in the music scene. But the question now lies with how strong my will will last. Being a recovery addict, it is just not easy at all. 26 months now, being clean, I still just wanna screw myself over again.

Maybe it doesn't really make sense to many, but all I wanna do it just keeping myself clean. Surrounded with many who does cocaine, meth, heroine and weed, how long more can I stir clear from all these? After recording, they just doesn't seem to really care. They would just cooking it in front in your face. The next thing you know, they pass you the bong. I am not judging them, I was in that spot once. To fall off the wagon doesn't seems like a hard thing at all to me if I am being honest to myself.

You were always my anchor to sustain myself from these crap. But you were just not right here right now. I kept reminding myself about what will life be if I took this path. But somehow it seems to wear off easily. I am starting to give myself more reasons to just let go. Even giving myself the excuses with my condition didn't really seems to work anymore.

I love doing music, and I wanted to just stay. But will it be enough for me? The lust of wanting to have it. Let it be the sex, drugs, booze or even the feeling of just being high. I don't know really how am I going to cope. Emotionally, I needed to be in this state to put life into my music. But the more vulnerable I am, the easier I would fall off. 

All seems so messy for me right now. I just want it to stop. I just wanted you to be here right now. Tell me that it will all pass and I will be ok. I need to know we are gonna be ok. I needed help, and I am still fighting to just being on the right place.

Drama Versus Peace

When it comes to life, no doubt that there will be a lil drama here and there. Some were conditioned, some were made. I somehow have my fair share of drama in life. But the fact that with everything that is on the plate right now, I just didn't want any kind of external made drama to be in my life.

All I have and all I need is the air that I would kill to breath. I am still searching for something that would pass me on. Well, I am not here to judge, and honestly, I am in a very peaceful and happy place right now. Nothing in the world I would give to exchange for the opposite. There are many that would love stirring up negativity and also things which they don't truly understand. And with that, I am staying out from all of that.

Peace is a sense that gives me not only pleasure but also the satisfaction in life. Especially now I am with my family and my love ones, nothing comes near for me to give that up. Staying humble at it's feet. I believe what I have. I believe what is given to me and I cherish that with my life.

The is really a group of people I really miss right now. I know there are a lot going on, and we are continents apart. Mikey is still in KL of course with Mr D. G is in Sweden or which ever country he flies to. Rainer & Danny in Aussie, and Cornflakes in Vietnam. I still talk to Shinigami on and off. Daus & Leo were always there for me. Byron is in Singapore right now and my gangz in LA & NY. My barbz! Those 3 is just amazing people that keep me going. I am just blessed to even have this minute to reminisce all those moments I have with you guys.

Some part of me, still wish that my short trip to Songkhla Thailand is longer. If my condition allowed, I will be heading back there in 2 weeks with Dumdum. Just you and me for 5 days 4 nights. The sun was just amazing. Sea were calm and the food was just awesome. It will be just perfect for just the two of us. The calmness that I am looking forward is just so.... divine.

Well, I know there ain't much interesting going right now. A big change is to come in days or even less for me. I wouldn't say it's something bad, but another challenge I suppose. But there ain't anything I can do to change that. So here are some of the pics I took on my short trip during the weekend. I hope I am well enough to head there in a few weeks time.

Anticipating the next time I step into this very ocean again. 

Soul Searching

Been a little off my game this few days. So I was kinda doing some soul searching to find back that little vibe in my work.

Got up at 5:10am and called up Dumdum. And somehow, he agreed to do this with me! I needed the beach so bad and I need to be back in the city by 9am.

Had a lovely breakfast with him at the beach, and finishing off my short trip back to the city with my fav green tea frap! And I realize that I really know nothing about LA. Past by the Hollywood sign and I asked : Why Hollywood?

Anyhow, it was just one amazing lovely stroll and it was really refreshing. I hope it helps me later on work. Thanks for sneaking me out that early Dumdum! 

The Risk Game

Playing the risk game sometimes may be fun. Taking the chances you have in hand and hoping for what the outcome we wanted. Some risk doesn't really impact ones life, some of it does. It's just a matter of playing the game right. But one thing we always forget is the chances are always 50-50.

I know that this is something that may sound childish or even not worth the time to many. But just thought of getting it off my mind. Since I was a kid, taking risk and playing this game isn't something new to me. But somehow I realize that some of the decisions I have taken are utterly stupid. Yes no doubt that in life, we are meant to take chances and bet on it that it will go the way we wanted it to be. Yet, many times, we forget about the chances are equal. I know the thing that has been twirling around my head is just itsy bitsy thing. I ran over a kitten.

I didn't do it on purpose and it was also not an accident. It was sitting in the middle of the road. And I took my chances that I won't run it over. Choices are made. I could have back off, or even get down from the car and remove it. But I didn't. I drove slowly just hoping I would not get it somehow. But in the end, I look at my side mirror, there it was.. still moving.. and.. Lets not go there.

I know that it just a small thing. But still fact is I have taken that risk and it didn't went the way I wanted it to be. I started to just sit back and reflect on what my actions were. A big part of me realize I do in many occasions playing the risk game. Even to the expense of others. I asked myself now that is this who I really wanted to be? When you are just in the game, you never realize what are the consequences. Yes no doubt there should be a point where we have taken the leap of faith. But for me, when I fall, I never really see what the mess I have cause. And I am not taking about the kitten any more.

My point is, whenever we play this game, are we fully aware of the consequences and effect that lies ahead? Or should we just let it be and let the mourning comes later when it happens.? I was that kinda person. No, I am still that person. Risk is like candy. You just act to it. Without even being filtered. The thing is how can I alter this crap. I know some decisions in life are made because there are nothing more to lose. But when it comes to that something you had to lose, what can you do to change that when you are being put on the spotlight.

It's Dead

My playlist is official DEAD! I need a new player as soon as possible. Anyone would reckon any good ones? I use to love using Podcast till the close shop! Great, and SCM player was working fine, ain't really a user friendly engine but still, usable. And now it is also dead! I really need a new player! 

Monogamy Or...

I was actually too bored this morning and it didn't really strike me to blog about this till I saw this amazing video on YouTube. The thing about this word is kinda strong. It is always in that grey are no matter we wanna admit it or not. But from what I have experience in the past, what the outcome of it that really could just break a person.

I guess the word monogamy is a matter of choices made. Choices are made easily but to live up to it, it is a different matter. I suppose saying that, this video I wanna share with you guys speaks it all. There are always some who live with the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. But there are others who choose to commit. And there are some few who I really hate to mention are who wanna commit but choose that lie to live with. I hate it so much because somehow, I was that kinda person in the past.

It didn't really occur to me at first. How painful it would be. I dated a few that are that way. And to be really frank, I guess I didn't fell for them. That is why it didn't really hurt that much. Until I was with Baby J. Somewhat it has been four years now. Still stings a little but it is all good to be where I am now. And I do hope somehow somewhere out there, he is happy too.

What sends a strong powerful message on this video was, when someone is single (Ahem... ) they could actually do what they wanna do. Posting pictures of themselves naked and all, showing off their dicks or whatever they wanted. (I won't deny that is a part of me in the past and I have worst pics than just private parts and all.) But the principles when that person is in a relationship, that is what I really do respect. In so many ways, the video really relate to something real. After hooking up with a person, and that deep intense talk between both. I guess this is not something that happen all the time. But it still does sometimes.

But what makes it interesting in the end of the video was when he told that fella who was cheating, he ended his relationship because of the other partner was unfaithful. But the question lies that does monogamy exist?

That is very much depending on what both souls are looking for. A matter of fact, what do we want in our life? What will you choose to be? And the whole point of me saying this is that I never mention being monogamy is easy. But what really love is to you? What do you see in this? A difference that we always dreamed of or another "Don't ask, don't tell" policy? Hope you guys enjoy the video. I really love how it ended. That suspense was just perfect.

Birthday Surprise?!

Imma gonna say it out loud! I LOVE surprises but I hate the gut of not knowing what is going on! Somehow this is the card my besties are playing around with me. They are just putting hints on what is going to happen but yet with suspense! WHAT THE..... Like seriously, I don't know what to expect what is gonna happen during that celebration weekend. Giving me hints like throwing me into waterfall, getting this hot guy to fulfill me. I am like what?!?!?!"?!

Mr D on the other hand, kept sending pictures of beautiful hotels with nice big tubs. It is really making me more eager to know what is going on. non of the hints make any sense but the thrill is killing me. But what is clear to start our celebration is that it will be Les Mis night on Friday! I wonder how Les Mis night would be. For sure Mr D won't be joining us for that.

But what really makes me touched is all that is going on. This will be our last outing together and God knows how long will it be for all of us to be in the same room again. Mr G is heading off to Sweden after Jan. Rainer bitch will be in Melbourne 6th of Feb joining by her hubby (My ex best friend) in April. But what I am still blessed is Mr D will be around still. He has always been and always will be my anchor.

But on the bright side, this year travelling plan would be easier for me. First stop would be Melbourne following with Sweden! I know I am gonna spend a hell lot of time to just annoy both of them no matter they like it or not! Mr G! It will be a pot heaven for me! And you are going to join me since it is legal!!! :P

So, what I am actually trying to do now is not to think about goodbyes. I guess I really suck at it. Even I knew it was just gonna be a short period of time before I see any of those asses soon! Oh by the way, my bitch Rainer gonna have baby bitch soon! And for the record, I am gonna be there to make sure only good food goes into her mouth on her first trimester. But her period is still normal for now. I kept telling her that baby bitch comes with sex and not fax! Hope she gets it! She has been dried as I was. But most unlikely for now since her engagement. There is always that honeymoon period. I know she will be shouting like hell when she reads this. But what the hell! I love her loads. And maybe just a little to my ex best friend. :P

Counting down the days to my very last few days being 28. And welcoming 29 to my wonderful life. And next year, bye bye twenties. So it will be a blast for me. Can't wait to be with them!!!!

Anticipating With Excitement?

I really got no idea if I am actually excited or just terrified. It will be a long week for all of us here. But before everything starts, I am somehow glad that I manage to spend some time today with my pretty Cow! But what really is embarrassing is she actually has a Hello Kitty lunch box! I am like, hello, you are older than me. Could you please act your age?

But her being her, ignoring me as usual. So, what am I actually excited about? The AMAs - American Music Awards. We are now fully loaded and getting ready to rock at the Nokia Theatre here in Los Angeles. And what really makes me more excited is I would be seeing Christina Aguilera performing! It has been years since I last saw her sang! I remember it was in Acer Center in Sydney on her Back To Basic World Tour. I just couldn't wait any longer to see her sing at the AMAs. 

Anyhow, the nominees are in and votes are still counting. It will be everyone's game to be honest. But as for me, I should be rooting for our own singers in the company. So, fingers cross. Hopefully will turn out well. Well, somehow, I don't really wanna put myself back into that vulnerable writing mode at the moment. Just trying to stay neutral and not to feel that much emotions at a time. 

Big things coming up, but still, taking one step at a time. Missing someone very much today. Maybe I left KL too long. Just couldn't wait to be home and still counting the days to come. But what I am really glad is having Cow around with me these few days. It never feel better to have her and just chat the whole night through. So, Imma not gonna make this post long and windy, Imma gonna focus on the upcoming previews and launches, enjoy my ride, and just roll. It is always good to work with all these wonderful people.

One thing I really find it different is there ain't back stabbing or grudges held. What makes us great is what put us together. Sometimes, I really don't miss working back in Asia. I miss home, I miss friends but I do enjoy what I do here. The love and support is a total whole new level. I guess what I am trying to say is I am just blessed somehow. :) To my friends in Malaysia, Happy weekend guys! I really miss all of you loads.

What A Day

There were so many things going on today. And look at the time now. It is almost 4am now and I am still wide awake blogging this. I got no idea why am I so excited with the election. Somehow maybe that being here in the states and really see what the people wanted. The change of history. I applaud President Obama for this. This change of equality isn't just the change of one country. But putting the world on the alter. Showing what humans should show respect to humans. No matter what or who they are. It is really a pretty simple proposition. Everyone should be treated the same in the eyes of the law and the society.

4 years ago, America shows the world that racism could be overcome by bringing everyone together. 4 years later, again America shows the world that everyone has the same rights. Putting discrimination or one no matter who they are.

And also today is the second anniversary of Dumdum and Sauli. Love the champagne  love the cakes and love the company. Wishing both of you many good years to come. With now that LGBT community has equally same rights. I really do see both of them having their wedding soon. Hopefully.

I dunno why am I writing this, anyway. I better head to bed. A long day tomorrow! :P Sorry for wasting ya time reading. Pardon a drunk person..

*Am I really drunk??*

Oh yeah!! Happy Birthday too to Chen Xing!!! Happy Birthday to you with loads of love and many good wishes returns!! Ok.. Time for me to sleep. LMAO

Holiday Ending

Alrighty, I know I didn't really blog much about myself lately. I wanted to just enjoy my time here back in Boston. As much as I didn't want it to end, but it will be in just days. I really enjoyed my "me" time back here so far. Excluding all the pain going on, I think I pretty much love to be back somewhere I could call home.

What I really enjoyed most is my morning time hunting for coffee. I guess it will never be complete if it didn't really happen. Fall is beautiful here. 3 shades of color around the block. Went back to Berklee to visit my old mates and professors, heading downtown playing around with my camera, no work, nothing but doing things I wanted. I realize that time flies really fast. The last time I was back here was in Dec last year. And now November is coming real soon. Hmm...

Anyway, a quickie update on myself, I went for my appointment at the hospital. Things are going well I think. I just needed to finish up 2 more dosage of Chemotherapy and there are no signs of spreading at the moment. So, I guess I am good for that.

Just a few days back, I tweeted and also posted on Facebook on something I came across.

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more

 I was at a sheet music store and this was something I saw on a cover of some sheet music. It was inspiring and I wanted to share this part of the story. Maybe some may not agree, but I do think this is really a beautiful phrase. Life is really a gift. And to give back is a way to show how much life meant to us.

As this is something I come across all the time. Maybe is my work nature that needed me to be in many places around the world. And many would think I come from a high income family or something. But fact is, I am from a middle class family. Got myself to study music by scholarship and I was just lucky enough to be notice by a really great mentor of mine to get into this label now. Anyway, I guess assumptions are the things that is out of my control. (Or I should say, I don't really bother to explain myself. LOL)

Oh, Red is still looping on my iTunes at the moment, I would really love to hear some feedback if anyone had already check that album out. In so many ways, the more I listen to it, the more you would really feel her emotions that is conveying through her music. She doesn't have a big range in her voice, not the most powerful voice in town. But sold millions of copies in the first week. I guess being honest is the key of her music. Sadly, not many artist would really dig into their own emotions.

I have to head to LA next week after Halloween. I really wish I don't have to leave home so soon. But with the upcoming release and all. It will be another busy period for me. I can't wait for you guys to listen to her tracks. My personal favorite is People Like Us. Something personal. And by saying that, I needed to head down to New York before LA to pick up my stuff. That sucks! Sometimes, I just wish I could just crash here and do nothing for the whole year. Which I know, I will be complaining if ever that happen after a week. Hahaha..

I can't wait for my long holiday during Christmas period. I'm bringing my whole family to Sri Lanka, India and Nepal. No idea what to expect but just letting it roll at the moment. Oh crap, I started trading again after months of not doing it. Guess that this time gonna be pretty challenging for me. At the moment, Imma still gonna just laze myself around and enjoy while I still can.

And I also can't wait to share another new song with you guys soon. I written that and now, it is with Andrew. I am waiting for his lyrics, past to one of my singers to do the demo. I love the tune, and I am really anticipating what Andrew could come up with. Anyway, signing off now for breakfast with my boys today. I can't wait to see them. Till then again..

ps - I still couldn't make up my mind on my Halloween costume. I don't want any make up on. Just a mask and keeping it simple. Thinking of being a pregger zombie or a clown. Hmm..

New York

Wrapping up everything in London and now back in NYC! The greatest city in the world! At least to me it is! When I just landed, all I could think of is

I am home! 

Imma gonna like spend 2 days here and I am gonna head back to Boston! I wanna just sink myself in my own bed! But the sad thing is Imma not gonna be here for long. Will be leaving back to Malaysia and meet my family and we are off again to our vacation! Submitted my visa application! I can't wait for my exotic trip to even get started. 3 Countries! Sri Lanka, India and Nepal! But not gonna talk much about it now.

For now, I am just gonna like indulge myself back here with the things I love to do! CORNDOGS!!! And heading back to Boston to just do nothing but sleep ad meet up old friends! But I only got like 2 weeks to do that before all the hectic work starts again! By the way, video shoot is super awesome! We wrapped up everything in London and it was fun!

Now I realize Imma gonna have a headache! Halloween in coming! I need my costume! I love trick or treating in Boston! Imma also having some close friends around with me over in Boston! How I wish Winter comes early this year! Can't wait for first snow! If that is even possible! Anyhow, just check in to my room. List of things to do. Headache again!

1. Ticket back to Boston!
2. Hospital appointments!
3. Fixing tune for my God Bro JJ and send back to Malaysia to him!
4. Start exercising for god sake! You are FAT ERIC!!!
5. Order fire wood before arriving in Boston! It's getting cold now!
6. Call home!
7. Check tickets back to KL for transit!
8. Call Rainer tomorrow!
9. SLEEP!

By the way, mental note taken! British Airways is a little over rated! It isn't all worth paying for that! It was just alright! Nothing amazing about their business class. For the record, I still prefer Asian airlines! Service, food, and everything is just perfect the moment you step in the plane!

Anyway, time to hunt for corndog! As now the jet lag has not kick in! Better spend my day out than in! Calling my buds and heading for a nice cozy dinner! That would be lovely!

All I really wanna say here is, I LOVE NYC and it's great to be back! Oh, and 2 more weeks till elections! Means, loads of goodies! I wish green card holder could vote! But, I have made up my mind! I know how the future is for me! Even without voting!

Spain : Keat Hwa 2012

The latest video I found. Uploaded by our teacher himself. One of the best quality sound I can find so far! Just to share. Here are the set list and awards won this year.

MV1: MATADORS

MV2: BESAME MUCHO

MV3: ROMANCE DE AMOR

MV4: FLAMENCO

National Champion

Best Brass and Woodwind Award

Best Percussion Award

Best Colour Guard Award

Best General Effect Award

Technically

I am actually really excited about the new song debut today. It is just hours. And I couldn't wait for the reviews. Technically, I am prepared for the worst either way. Since I couldn't possibly sleep, I took my time to actually clean up my room. Yes, you didn't read it wrongly. I did clean up everything. New sheets, vacuumed and all. Finishing everything now, just relaxing on bed waiting for time to pass.

Technically, I am blogging about crap again. And I really do appreciate about the response from my readers about that "Dare And Truth" game. I suppose I'm choosing to pass. In many ways, would still prefer something that are meant to be private be private. And one of the biggest thing is I don't think I could write in that kinda erotic language! Not like one of the blogger that I'm following. I was like really impressed with the words he choose to use. Pure erotic porn I would say! Hahaha.. You know who you are. :-P You are really gifted being a blogger. Do consider writing erotic fictions. I think you will do well.

And technically, I wanna thank you for all the responses regarding the accident that happen between me and Dumdum. Clearly, I was over thinking about it. Even a friend ask me not to take his place as drama king. LOL I miss you a lot Cornflakes!  And when things happened, I talked to Mr D right away. He just knew what to say. I am glad to have him in my life. You were right. Emotionally, we both are connected at the time when we were talking. And It was just the right chemistry between two wrong people. Technically, that is true. I never see any possible future for the two queens.

I think I somehow stirred up the question about me being celibate at this period of time. I'm gonna make things simple. In a lot of ways, I came to a point where I really felt the emptiness. I shall be honest, within that period of time me being a capital HOE, from time to time, the sex was just out of the world. It was uninhibited, it was pure pleasure, satisfaction came without any warning. It was beyond what I have ever came across my entire life. But the question surface after the sex. When everything is over, I really do felt like I was being sucked into this kinda black hole.

Wild crazy mindless sex? or...

Someone you wanna show love and giving in everything to?

To be honest, Non of the great sex existed within my relationships. But the love making within the relationship is incomparable. I felt whole, complete. It is something really different. As being a train wreak at that point, I poisoned myself not to feel those emotions at all. And that was why I got hooked to drugs and all. Between sex and love making, I think I kinda made myself clear of my choices. Of course from time to time I still have the urge! I'm just a regular 28 year old fella who has normal needs. What to do about it? Try not to log into Grindr, or any social network sites, Try to just go for a swim or something, or even just head out with family and friends to get myself off the edge! Is it hard? It is. But it just the determination that drives me on.

But the thing is, I'm not sorry that I did all those mistakes. Because with those things I have done, I was still blessed. A few old friends walked back into my life. But at points, with a price to pay. So, it is kinda a moral thingy I am doing to myself. Nothing to do with whatever thing that others would come across with. And of course with a personal reason that matters to my heart. On that note, I shall still keep it to myself.

So technically I have tried my best to answer as much questions that I have got in emails and on twitter. I hope this answers most of it. I hope.. And I just realize the amount of technically word I have been using on this post. So I think I would be naming it that either. :) So technically for the last time, I'm happy with my progress of staying away from drugs and life is really treating me well. Great people in my life, great company, great music and great effort. Life is still good even shits happen all the time. :)

Is Rape A Joke To You?

To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.

I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.

And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?

So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.

Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-

6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.

6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.

A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?

Rapists do.

They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.

Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.

But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.

And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?

That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.

You. The rapist’s comrade.

And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…

Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.

Malaysian Stupidity Again!

I actually don't feel that offended anymore. Maybe I guess that I have seen how stupid they could get. I actually pity them more than feeling that they are actually against the LGBT society. I don't pity them in their stupidity but I do in their lack of understanding.

What is really sad to see what damage they did to themselves. If they even realize they have made one of the greatest joke on earth. With the latest post by a University lecturer statement. What really made him look bad is how could a person with such high education status make such a statement. And this reflect how the country's education status is. As an educator, whatever statement made reflects the whole system. It is just sad to see that.

The link below is the statement he had made. The Stupidity Continues with Associate Professor Dr Samsul Adabi Mamat of UKM - University Kebangsaan Malaysia says these people should migrate to the West if they want to continue their lifestyle. I actually wonder do they really know what is the definition of sexual orientation. It has been a laughing stock around the globe. I couldn't really blame dad now whenever he says our education level is beyond repaired. I kinda get it now.

I lived in the west half of my life. Do they really think LGBT are widely accepted in the west? And do they think that the few places in the west that accepted LGBT comes just like that? LGBT are branded since their awakening. That is the way of life would be in this world for us. Do we care? Yes we do. But is there any other way? Besides keep on educating people to understand what we are is what we can do.

But looking on the bright side, it is another way for us to be stronger. At one point in the past, I remembered I recorded a piano demo last year March on my soundcloud. I just shared this song with one of my close friend Shinigami. It was just a simple tune that is filled with what I wanna expressed. But until Adam took this and gave life to it. Sharing this song with you guys on the playlist here. The lyrics that Adam did is just superb.

Everywhere we go
I'm lookin' for the sun.
Nowhere to grow old.
and always on the run.
They say we'll rot in hell
but i don't think we will
They've branded us enough
Outlaws of love.

The message he wanted to bring through the song is so strong. The lyrics made it alive. Listening to the whole song carefully. And they way Adam made it. Feel his heart while conveying that message through music. I never listen to anything that haunting and beautiful. Like ever. Thanks to the magic touch of Benny Blanco the producer to make it so beautiful.That is the way of life everywhere for LGBT. Why do you really think till now it is so hard for them to come out to their parents? Why is it so hard for them to be themselves in the eyes of public. This is happening everywhere. East, West, North and South. But we are striving every single minute in our life. We can't change they way what people think of us. What we can do is try to make them understand that sexual orientation isn't a choice. It is how the human gene creates us. It isn't a lifestyle like what that professor said it is. We are being bullied everywhere in the world. We are being labeled. But does this mean it is ok that we are born to be bullied? Born to live this life? But we survived. If they could just understood what are the pressure that we have been living through life. We are nothing but the same as they are.

They may think the west are more encouraging in terms of accepting LGBT. But this is not something that comes over night. The society fought through hard times. Till today, it is still not easy for LGBT to be accepted in the west. Everyday on the news, you can find how LGBT is being treated all around the world. It is not something that by saying that the country isn't accepting such culture. I emphasis this again. Being gay
 isn't a culture or a lifestyle. We are born this way. And by saying this, I am not implementing Lady Gaga's influence by her music culture. We are the way we are.

No matter how life could possibly be, this is not a culture we choose to be. This is not a lifestyle we wanted and we are not born just to be stronger than anyone else so we could still be standing after being bullied. No one does. But why do we live through this? Because of love. The love that brings us into this world. Even if it isn't so, the love we have for life. That we keep on breathing after all the crap is being thrown at us. And this is something worth celebrating. I do really wish that instead of letting this comedy keep going in the eyes of the world, please do care about the society. The social illness around us, unwanted pregnancy. The education system in the country. The crime rate and the homeless around us. All those issue are in dire need of attention. Instead of keep letting the joke rolling on why not do something worth while to the society.