Before I go on, I would really wanna thank to all the readers out there. Getting all the emails from you guys is just really amazing. Sometimes, you guys really give me so much warmth than what I could ask for. For the past few weeks I know I haven't really talk much about what has been going on with what I am going through. Instead of the excessive posting on passenger airliners and skyscrapers. I just got a thing for these two wonders.
Anyhow, to answer few of the questions from the emails I have received. Emma from Burleson Texas. I really am blessed with all the beautiful words you have written. Honestly, I really do not know how to write any more on what I am going through. Part of it was that I couldn't have the right words to say what I am going through at the moment. It isn't that I do not wanna share what I feel. But just nothing felt right about it. I know that in the past that some of the post really helps to understand how a CA patient could handle their situation. But just that as of now, I don't even really know how I feel to be honest. And part of me wanted to cope with it but I know that I couldn't possibly come to peace with the physical pain that is going on.
Well, lemme share this little story I really came across lately that I could really relate to. I believe some of you had already heard of it too. This is a story about a fish and a turtle who lived in the same pond. So one day, the turtle was gone. And the fish was looking for him. But he was no where to be found. So 3 days later, when the turtle returns, fish went on and asked turtle where have he been. So turtle told the fish that he had been on land in the past few days. But fish couldn't understood what land is. So, fish ask the turtle to explain to him what land was. But the turtle was out of words to explain to the fish. But the fish kept wanting to know what land was. So fish says how about he ask turtle questions and the turtle just answer yes and no instead. So the turtle agreed.
Fish : Is land wet?
Turtle : No
Fish : Is land soft?
Turtle : No
Fish : Is land cold?
Turtle : No
Fish : Can you glide through land?
Turtle : No
So the fish was frustrated and the answer wasn't there at all. And the turtle told the fish that it isn't in the vocab to find the right words to explain how land was as the turtle was able to experience land and water but the fish was living the whole of it's life in water.
It came to a point to me sometimes, besides my music that I could express how I feel, words is just something that I am a beggar with now. It isn't about me being selfish and not sharing what is the condition is like but there is no way I could express what I am feeling and what I am going through. I am thankful for all the concerns but I just can't find the right thing to say at times. That is partly why I wasn't writing about myself a lot these few weeks.
But somehow music is really one magical thing that I do find my own safe haven in. Chen Xing did asked me something when I posted Megan's new song No Cure. Somehow music is a way I expressed and the way I communicate. And somehow he got it why I was actually putting down that song. But saying that, I am thankful for all the empathy being extended to me.
At some point in my life now, every single view I see isn't the same any more comparing with what I was looking at. Even writing this post, I realize how much pain others would go through in their life and never being able to be understood by others. Physically and mentally. And I realize there isn't anything we could do to make that change. That is the universal way and it is really a blind spot the non of us could do. It is just like everyone hear us, but how many of them listen to us. With what life could lead me now, I guess, adapting to it is just all I could do. But I'm not complaining. It's just another choice I have made in life.
Anyhow, to answer few of the questions from the emails I have received. Emma from Burleson Texas. I really am blessed with all the beautiful words you have written. Honestly, I really do not know how to write any more on what I am going through. Part of it was that I couldn't have the right words to say what I am going through at the moment. It isn't that I do not wanna share what I feel. But just nothing felt right about it. I know that in the past that some of the post really helps to understand how a CA patient could handle their situation. But just that as of now, I don't even really know how I feel to be honest. And part of me wanted to cope with it but I know that I couldn't possibly come to peace with the physical pain that is going on.
Well, lemme share this little story I really came across lately that I could really relate to. I believe some of you had already heard of it too. This is a story about a fish and a turtle who lived in the same pond. So one day, the turtle was gone. And the fish was looking for him. But he was no where to be found. So 3 days later, when the turtle returns, fish went on and asked turtle where have he been. So turtle told the fish that he had been on land in the past few days. But fish couldn't understood what land is. So, fish ask the turtle to explain to him what land was. But the turtle was out of words to explain to the fish. But the fish kept wanting to know what land was. So fish says how about he ask turtle questions and the turtle just answer yes and no instead. So the turtle agreed.
Fish : Is land wet?
Turtle : No
Fish : Is land soft?
Turtle : No
Fish : Is land cold?
Turtle : No
Fish : Can you glide through land?
Turtle : No
So the fish was frustrated and the answer wasn't there at all. And the turtle told the fish that it isn't in the vocab to find the right words to explain how land was as the turtle was able to experience land and water but the fish was living the whole of it's life in water.It came to a point to me sometimes, besides my music that I could express how I feel, words is just something that I am a beggar with now. It isn't about me being selfish and not sharing what is the condition is like but there is no way I could express what I am feeling and what I am going through. I am thankful for all the concerns but I just can't find the right thing to say at times. That is partly why I wasn't writing about myself a lot these few weeks.
But somehow music is really one magical thing that I do find my own safe haven in. Chen Xing did asked me something when I posted Megan's new song No Cure. Somehow music is a way I expressed and the way I communicate. And somehow he got it why I was actually putting down that song. But saying that, I am thankful for all the empathy being extended to me.
At some point in my life now, every single view I see isn't the same any more comparing with what I was looking at. Even writing this post, I realize how much pain others would go through in their life and never being able to be understood by others. Physically and mentally. And I realize there isn't anything we could do to make that change. That is the universal way and it is really a blind spot the non of us could do. It is just like everyone hear us, but how many of them listen to us. With what life could lead me now, I guess, adapting to it is just all I could do. But I'm not complaining. It's just another choice I have made in life.
.JPG)
Well, I still believe we can someone who can listen to us, and there's a thing called empathy, even though it can't help us to fully understand each other feelings, it can make us feel warm and blessed *Hug* =)
ReplyDelete