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Saturday, December 21, 2013

10 More Days

10 more days, and we will come to a close to 2013. For many many reasons, I have kept asking myself who I want myself to be. But in the end, I stopped asking myself that. At a point where so many things were just going too fast and I really couldn't cope with. The question was circulating around that I wanted to be free from cancer. And the more I wanted to be, the more I got myself winded in that whirlwind without an exit.

The past few days wasn't really easy. Fever, lungs infection, and the usual pain. All I could think at that point was just how I wanted it to just stop. But what makes things easier was Leo. Somehow, maybe it was the time difference and all. He gave me comfort at times when I really needed. A few nights, he would just FaceTime me till I fall asleep. Maybe he is really just great in calming me down. I am just glad to have him in my life. You were nothing more I could ask for as a friend.

Both of my besties are back in town. Mr G is now spending most of his time with his family and all. And I am sure gonna steal some time from them for sure. I miss him actually. I can say that he is the most supportive person in my life. Like my personal teddy bear. He really was there at the hardest time no matter what it was. Rainer, on the other hand, she is like my mirror. So far, I haven't talk much to her just yet. She is getting engage on Christmas Eve! I know there are a lot for her to cope with right now. I wanted to be there, but everything is still unclear, but one thing for sure is I will be seeing her before I go back to New York. Don't even care if she has the time or not, I will just pull her out. I got all m wines and bubbles ready and I would be damn if I don't drink it with her!

And also my barbz! I know I have been forgetting the 3 of you in my blog. Sammy, thank you for always finding someway for me to lessen my burden with cancer. Gavinella, I still love you much for everything you have done. But still hating you for that first picture you ever sent me! I still crave for that ice cream! And Kenny, you were just one beautiful soul that is always ready to listen to me. I really couldn't imagine life any easier with the support and love you 3 gave me.

There are so many things to be thankful for this year. Thankful to being able to fall in love all over again and reliving every part of it. I know the road in front is bumpy but what matters is we have each other no matter where or who we are. I know there are so much to be said, but just don't. I know there are many things that comes into factor. And maybe.. I just don't love myself enough to let you.

I am also getting inked on the 27th. A mark that I wanted to have for my first 30 years in this world. It will be my 8th tattoo. The inspiration actually came from the question where I began this. The person I wanna be is the person that I am. Embracing every wrong that I made in the past, and living today with what I have. There will always be the things we want, and the things we wanna be. But in the end, when you have all the people who cares and loves you, what else more do I really need?

2013 has been really really kind to me. There are the ups and downs, and all I can say is, I will be ending my 20s with a happy note. All that I have been given and taken away from, made me realize life is all that it has to offer. And I am thankful for that. 

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~