4:41 AM - Another Fallen Fighter

It was 4.41am when I got the text. Just a short simple text by Zombie.

She passed

My heart sink just then and there. I never got the chance to know her but she is someone dear to someone I care for. And also being a cancer patient too it is really personal to get news like this. It doesn't matter who we know or who we don't. The only thing we share is we know how tough that battle can be.

I believe I can speak for every fighter and survivor out there. It is never easy to hear news like this. And it will never ever gets better. Every breathe we draw is a constant reminder to us that this is a war we have to live with. And every fallen fighter does somehow affect us.

As far as I remembered, until this very day, there isn't much option when one is being diagnose with cancer. As much as we don't wanna admit that it is a death sentence, but the fact that it is. What we all are holding on now is just one little ray of hope. The hope that it would be easier for us to fight. Everyday, I wake up in the morning, I have this little ritual. I look at the mirror and says "FUCK CANCER!"

I would never ever say that it's no biggie when someone asked. I will never say it's just nothing. The thing is, only those who were in the same boat will know. The physical pain, the mental torture, the changes our body have to endure, vanity is not even an option for us to choose, and put on a good show for our love ones.

What we really want is just a brighter hope. A hope that we can really hold on. I know we're living in hell every single day. We will think that we're all alone, when no one's there to hold our hand. As much as I wish it will all go away but is there anything more we can do or hope for? Yes we will keep on fighting, but everyone will have a limit to it. And I am taking this opportunity to reach out to all CA patient out there, reach out, and share. At least, we know we will have each other to fight with.

Today we lost one fighter, and let her courage keeps on burning, and her bright spirit to lead us to our long fight. She will always be remembered and love.

My deepest condolences goes to Zombie and his family. Your lost is our lost.