Yelling At The Gates

I only hold myself towards the place on the verge of giving in. Giving in to the excruciating crave. Deep within me I felt it growing stronger every moment in life. In one moment, there ain't nothing I could say or explain what is wrong. The clarity isn't there any more. The past has come back haunting me.

No one would understand why am I lingering here. The vastness of the memory lapse through time and it wasn't a place for me to choose. Somehow it made me what I am today. But do I see the sensation turmoil? Yes I do. Like I say, it isn't a matter of choice. Putting myself together. Thinking of the only way I could get myself together.

Talked to someone who relatively could relate to my sufferings. I see them only in the same tolerance of the inferior pain that no one could understood. Closing my eyes knowing all is just a matter of time and it will be all over. Holding on to myself. I know it will be a long night.

The bards are sharp and filled with my own fresh blood around it. Still putting a smile and knowing I could do this. Someone once told me to look at the beauty part I could sow than not nurturing them at all. It is a painful journey. No one ever we could look them in the eye and ask them for that vast hollow to be filled. It will never be. The ones that once trying to fill it are all tired. I am tired myself. Giving in at the end of the journey.

There will always a way to make it right. Just a matter of choice. Should I bring myself to a higher place where the dreams had wake? Knowing that he will be laying me down. At the gates of darkness when no one would even see that choice matters.