Will Love Be Enough?

We're Under Pressure, 7 billion people in the world tryin' to fit in.

Keep it together, smiling on your face even your heart is frowning.

This first verse shot me right away at the place where it just felt so right. I have been listening to a lot of different kinds of music to get ready for my next project. I am still looking for a place where it feels just right. To be able to connect. And taking a step back on what I am coping now, there were so much changes in a short period of time. 

Not that I am surprise with the twist and turns that life throws at you, but it doesn't made it any easier every time it happens. There are so much in life that is like a big bag of mysteries that will soon be uncover one by one. Just when you think it is over, another wave hits you at your face. 

Well, on myself, keep on living and fighting to be well isn't a choice to me. So, I am not gonna talk about myself on this post. But what hurts most today is when my BFF text me. He wasn't able to digest what was happening to him. This isn't something new to me as I have a lot of close friends in my life that is facing such pain. My best friend's partner was tested positive. But my friend was negative. I know that this isn't new to me but it is sure not easy every time it happens. They have been together for a year plus now I think, and this is such a big blow to my friend. I know that many would wanna know how it happened, but to me what is important is what life has to offer ahead. I know there must be so much emotions he is going through right now. Fear, Anger, Betrayal, Pain, Love and Confused. All these could eventually consume him up from inside. 

I don't know if I did the right thing that I told him that no matter what answers he needed isn't gonna changed what had happen. But for now, at least at this very moment, he gotta take action on what had to be done. It was clear to me that he cared very much for his partner even though he has a millions emotions flowing in him. For now, he had to make sure his partner is being treated and start on medication and all. And secondly, his partner should inform all his previous sexual encounters that he is being tested positive and they too should go have their test. That is the most important thing and the hardest first step that one has to take. But he needs to do so. 

To me, it seems like living back a dream when I knew Mr D was tested positive. But what hurts me most is how much pain D went through. And until now, it has been nearly 2 years now and it isn't easy for him. I am proud of him on how far he progress and all I have ever concern about D is just his happiness. Cause no matter what the circumstances are, happiness is something everyone deserve to have. That that is all I wanted for D. 

I really don't know what more I can do for my BFF or even to try to make him feel better. It feels like everything was being stripped away from him in just seconds. Being naked, being vulnerable. And there was when every melody in my mind went blank. Writers block again.

Anyway, on a happier note, I am so proud that Pia Toscano and Jared Lee are having Unplugged Live at The Cutting Room NYC in Nov! What makes me happier is they have been constantly supporting American Cancer Society (ACS). When I got a text this morning from my ACS family that these two amazing souls will be doing this, it really warms up my heart. From the first time I saw Pia sang at the live shows at AI, I knew this girl will do amazing things. Jared's style of writing is always an inspiration to me. Keeping in current and also personal. These two are just amazing. And really, a big thank you for keep supporting us. Especially to Pia, being a part of your team on the last Relay For Life at Howard Beach NYC, is just amazing. Thank you for raising all the money to keep this program going.