City Lights

In these deep city lights, a boy could get lost tonight. I'm finding every reason to be gone, but there is nothing here to hold on to. Could I hold you? I am just being left here to reminisce all those moment again and again. I wouldn't say it's easy, but I do wish it was. 

For some reasons, I wanted so many things. And it was all those little things in life that I didn't really cherish. I miss my hair, I miss being able to eat what I wanted. Even my mom got me mckers but after having a bite, it just couldn't stay in. I miss those times I was just able to do what I wanted. 

Listening to rain drops and it got me thinking, have I really lived? Whenever this questions pops, it made me realize being human, we will somehow find that loop hole to say we haven't. Everyone wants more, even I do. I have D being there for me always, my besties who always push me up, even zombie trying his best to be. I have unconditional love, I have that passionate love I always wanted, I have the love that is being shared among best friends. So what do I wanna hold on to right now? 

I know that the fact that things I wanted needed time to heal. But why do I still feel this way? A mixture of every emotions that could be. Where can I go from here? I just wanted to get over with all this treatment and move on. Or I should say live on. 

I know I am being loved and I am grateful for everything. But somehow, I am just all over the place right now. Just wished it was much simpler. But I know, life is life. I have every reason to be gone, but I know I just gotta hold on. Hold on to you.