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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Unknown


The unknown is something that we all have to adapt to. I know that I've been really lazy to write anything that is personal. Or maybe I am just avoiding that part right now. For all that is worth, maybe I just needed that space where I could feel safe. I wouldn't say the past few weeks were easy, but just somehow, no one could actually I could really let it all out. Maybe there is... I just choose not to at the moment. Why? I have no idea what my fucking brain is thinking either.

Maybe it is just a way I cope with all these. I wish phone calls will stop. It doesn't do me any good. And there is so much that is going on right now and I got no idea how to deal with. The stress I am under is something I needed to learn to deal with. I know everyone has their own shit. But just.. I don't know.. I feel just helpless.

Will be heading back to NYC real soon. But something in me just felt that should I even start thinking of that? Or I just needed that time to heal.

I blame my own for everything that is crumbling, but what else I could do to not to feel at all? All these while, it was just like it was so surreal. I know everything will be temporary, but what the hell I am fussing with? I hated the fact that sometimes I couldn't do anything to make it better.

There is so much negativity swirling through my thoughts all the time and it really needed to stop. I got no idea is the side effects of the meds or it is just me losing my mind. I wanted to understand everything better, and I wanted it to go away right now. Or... I just wanted to be invisible.... I didn't want anyone to hear me out, I didn't want anyone to just be there for me, I didn't wanted any of it. What is going wrong with me? 

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~