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Saturday, July 28, 2012

Anxious

A moment there I was thinking about how things could go from here. For the past few days here. I was nothing but happy to be with you guys who flew half way from the other side of the world to be with me. Not a single minute I could ever think of me being sick. But somehow the time would eventually come.

I knew one thing for sure, I was thinking of you at this point. And surprisingly you were still awake at this hour. Even we are now thousand miles away, but I knew that memory that pops up this minute meant something for me.

Without a doubt, the fear lingers on with me. I am playing a song we both adored, and lying here letting myself soaring free from all emotions that surfaced. A thought that I must get well was taken off from my mind. A world free from all expectations and all reasons others put on. Tapping within myself and I was asking is there a chance I may change my mind? For now, it doesn't matter at all. I know I am free.

I don't need to be dying to catch my breath any more. It puts me in to that realm I felt surreal and free. Closing the doors of letting go, I found my heart beat beating steadily and it was firm. Tearing down all the make up. Tried many times but nothing was real till now. I wanna believe nothing is real but all I need is really your memory that lingers through my body. My heart was at a better place. The only medicine is just right in front of me.

Should I pick it all up or should I just go home? Overlooking the beautiful skyline from Kowloon, holding you guys with me, it brings even a stronger strength to face all this coming hurdle just lies right in front of me. At some point, I wasn't afraid any more. Like what DumDum said to me,

Ricky, it is all in the mind. You just gotta let go sometimes. And let your heart talks to you.

I realize this is something I shut down for some time now. Whatever the reason was isn't important but yeah, I did sealed that part up for sure. I knew if it isn't so, doing this ain't gonna be easy for me. But letting all go tonight is the only way to feel connected. I felt alive and all I could do now is just let it flow. Let it to overpower me. I need that so the next step would be easier for me to take.

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~