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Monday, July 2, 2012

Pain 4.0

It has been a week since I last wrote. To a certain extend, I couldn't possibly write anything. As of now, I felt tremendous pain going through my whole body. Sometimes, I wonder how am I going to go through all these and why am I doing this. But I know it would just be a phase.

At the moment, I could be reach via iMessage. I do not have my phone with me. Just of anyone who is trying to be in touch. I felt helpless at times like this sometimes, trying to be at my best not to spread the negative energy within. Even the pain which I am going through, it is a tough decision to hold on.

I really felt like I everything in my body is crashing all the time. I am being under morphine at the moment. But the energy that kept me going is an external factor. I know there is someone who kept me going and I know that there are many that wanted to be that support. But somehow the whole system felt like shutting down. And every time, I even miss you even more. But how could I go from here?

I am trying and trying but nothing seems to work at the moment. I am feeling awfully miserable at all times. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk. So much anger builds up, so much frustration and so much pain. Mentally and physically, I somehow knew nothing comes close to what you are going through but you would understand everything I am now going through. Thinking of those memories that we had, I even felt worst. At times, like this, how could I possibly say that this is enough?

It is just some random thoughts I am rambling about. I am trying not to give any idea how the condition is, but just I desperately needed to let everything out at the moment. Somehow I am trying to close every possible way that I have to every emotions that is going through. But I just couldn't take it tonight.

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Live to love and love to live. The motto that I held on my entire life. Just a regular guy who loves what I am passionate in life. A song writer and producer. Living life on the move. From Malaysia to The States, New Zealand to Singapore. With the companion of great people in life. In and out from the music industry. Taking everything one step at a time. 
Eric believe what Eric says~ Cuz Eric is God~