Better Than Sex.. Not!

Anything that could be better than sex for me is me being in the studio. It is just pure orgasm for me through out the process. Since I landed here in London, all I can say is my time is totally fucked up. But well, I am having the time of my life. First day was really weird but productive. Some of us are just low in energy and some of us (me) were just on hyperdrive.

I was really happy with the outcome on the two songs we did yesterday. The condense scores are all finish in just under 4 hours. So today will be more on arrangements and getting it ready for vocals. But one little surprise came to me out of no where. YOU appear in the studio!!! I couldn't express how much that meant to me. Not about me gonna get laid but literally happy you are just here with me. Ok fine, maybe yes a little excited about what will be happening too. :P

Well, I really wished I could share the music we are working on right now with y'all but I guess that had to wait. So far everything sounded amazing. So after all the hours clocked in, I was schedule on my usual visit. And I didn't expect you were to accompanying me. It was a whole 180 minutes. And so naturally after that, I would have thought that you would wanna head back to your hotel. But the weird part was, you were just following me.

So as dumb as I could get, I kissed him good night.

AD    : Hey, if you are leaving me here, where am I gonna be staying tonight?

Me    : Your hotel room?? I assume you did get ya own room right?

AD    : No I didn't. It's 11pm now. I couldn't get any till the morning.

Me    : Ah.. well, come over then..

And yea, we went back to my place. And there we were just lying there on the bed. I kinda expected he wouldn't wanna use to other guest room instead. But not like I didn't really expected it at all. I know, slutty me right?

AD    : Rick, when was it when we both have this alone time? Every time when I see you, it is always in the hospital. And I really didn't enjoyed it there. (Holding my hand and playing with my fingers)

Me     : I don't know. But all I know I just don't have to be strong when you are around.

AD     : Why Rick, why couldn't we?

Me     : I dunno..

AD     : I just wished this moment just stay on for us... I really do...

And we all know where does that lead to. I really kinda forget how good is he in bed. But a part of me got me thinking, are we just that "it"? Or would there be that something more? We have been like "seeing each other" for years now. The thing is now that would this be just it? Or there would be something even more to go on with. Or is it just me trying to make it easier for me to just get out from it?

It was already 2.30 in the morning and I couldn't get back to sleep after. He was still soundly asleep. I wouldn't want him to think I was just wanting him to get off my own urge. I left him a note :

Sleep well, I'm in the studio.

Meet me there when you are up. And stay on with me.

I know you already planned all these. I known you better than you think I have :)

Luv Rick.

As I went in to the showers, I left the water running and I sat beside the tub. What do I really want from this. This question kept turning and turning. I am not getting younger by the day. I would be 30 this coming January. But how are things gonna be for us? The more I turmoil into that labyrinth I created myself, I just couldn't see what was there in front of us. Was it just purely sex for both of us?

He doesn't seems that want it to be just about sex. But could we even go further on? I so wished that Leo is awake right now to slap me. All I could think of right now is all those kisses and touches. The friction between our bodies collided. Can I blame this too on the jet lag?

And just not to think, I am now in the studio from 3am - 2pm. Hopefully I can just get to not to think about it right now. Maybe I should just talked to him about all this. Maybe so.. But for now, I just need to clear up my mind.