Don't Let Me Know

As the tiredness sets in, and somehow I am glad. For all the reasons just to have some rest. The past 14 hours is just excruciating and unbearable. But somehow it is over. At least for now it is. I have no idea when will it hit me again, but I just don't wanna go there for now.  The whole time, Michael Buble's new record, To Be Loved accompanying me through. Seeking for some safe place to be. I am at a block, no notes came out from me and starring at the manuscript blank. 

I guess when everything is overwhelmingly too much, everything is just every where. I close my eyes, and letting you tell me all the reasons there is. I know I just gotta do what I gotta do. But everything is just painful. Not emotionally, but what bugs me most is physically. Even writing this, at the back of my mind just kept asking why couldn't I be like anyone out there. I am just another soul who is trying to fit in.

When you feel broken, nothing really seems real to you. Even it was a genuine love and care. Not that I am not grateful of what I have, but just I need some space to figuring out what is next for me. Sounds easy to many maybe, I wished it was too for me. I really wished I knew too what is going on with my body. But I asked myself again, will it be better if I were to know what was it? I am not sure honestly, but from me being me, I sometimes just would let it go. For it to unfold itself, sometimes does more good to me than harm.

I am still working on what I gotta do next. And I am really trying to look past all the pain, the bleeding, and that nauseating feeling all he time. I wanna help myself too, but it is just too heavy for me to hold on right now. Years and years past, and there ain't any straight answer for it. I really careless on how I look right now, but just wondering how long more will this keep going on? and how long more will I have to keep up, as I am really feeling that I am losing every last ounce of strength right now. I just wanted to move on, are there any clearer path for me to take besides medication? I really wanna know.

I wish you were a bad man
I wish you made it easier
I wish you'd done something unforgivable 'Cause holding onto you is that all I can do until
I learn the hands around my throat are my own Don't let me know if it hurts
If it hurts you
I don't want to be your friend that you turn to
That you won't pull me close
But you can't let me go
Don't let me know

I wish I never met you
Now I gotta forget again
I wish you didn't know me
So damn well

Don't tell me that you're scared
Every time that I'm not there
Don't you open up my heart again

Oh, don't let me know if it hurts
If it hurts you
I don't want to be your friend that you turn to
That you won't pull me close
But you can't let go
Don't let me know
Don't let me know If you think there's a chance you can fall again
That you've tried and you've failed to stop loving me

Don't let me know if it hurts
If it hurts you
I don't want to be your friend that you turn to
That you won't pull me close
But you can't let go
Don't let me know