Missing

Emotions really plays a big part of what we are going through everyday. With the current condition, I just didn't feel like getting outta bed. I have been in the same spot for the past 2 hours now since I got up. Every movement is just intense pain. Sigh. Anyway, called the hospital and set my appointment tomorrow. One more day to just endure this.

I got no idea why, all my mind now was just Mr D. He always just know what to do. Maybe he is someone who really understood how painful it is for me. I guess all Halloween plans are cancel for me. My clown mask will just gotta wait for next year.

I was kinda having a tune in my head. But decided not to put it down. I guess it is just me fighting with myself. I needed to stop writing emotional ballads and starting to put down what I use to write. The good thing is I am not due with any songs until March next year. I wanted to go back to that pop rock roots. I also have been playing some of my old songs. I just didn't even know how did that come from.

Reminded me that music is a way for me to express. Maybe since London till now, I was just so focus on ballads as we needed to put on a compilation on that. And now, looking at the edges between the seaboard, I felt I just needed a break from everything.

There have been a lot going on in my mind. Looking back at some of the people in my life. I am somehow missing them so much. I got a mail from a really close friend of mine. Asking me when will I be back in KL. And he misses me. I could just reply that mail with the dates and I do misses him a lot too. The last time I met him was in the hospital in Sunway. It is somehow a really weird relationship we both had. But what I really cherish between me and him was how we could understand each other and be there for each other.

The more I think of it, the more I lost the courage to reply. I knew no matter what I write, he would know that it isn't easy for me. To be honest, he is one of the few who always have faith in me. Even when hopes were slim. I remember he told me about what happen in the past. He somehow knew that it would tough but he never gave up that hope he has for me. For that I really appreciate him. Not gonna write about that. Just wanted to keep that to myself for the time being.

Imma gonna just try to sleep off the pain. For now, I guess just one word I could describe what I have to go through.  -  Endure. And just another part of me is missing. Guess time will just let heal.