Imma trying to find ways to keep myself back on the positivity train. Listening to Glee's cover of Coldplay's The Scientist, I was feeling somehow peaceful in many ways. I love Coldplay's version more but Glee's arrangement is way better. I somehow had flash back of some really old memories. Remembered the night that I sat on the bathroom floor while you were asleep. Weeping in the dark and didn't want you to know I was devastated. Knowing it was the last night we have ever spent together. It wasn't that painful anymore. But I still feel a little sting in it.
My emotions is every where now. I don't really know it was the meds or I am just a train wreak at the moment. In many ways, I want the pain to go away. The pain killers aren't helping. And whenever my family visits, I am just so tired to put on that smile. I really wish I could let them know it has been so long and I am really tired for holding on. I know that is not an option at all. But I just need to vent in a way.
Getting ready for the next dosage of chemo, I really am hoping for just a few days without any physical pain. I really miss Mr D really a lot. But he is now having so much on is plate. I saw that he tweeted he is gonna go clubbing last night. But I know he needed to balance himself outta all the stress he is having. Imma lying if I didn't say I am dead worried about him. He is also on meds and I couldn't help stop worrying about anything that might happen. But all is well, turn out well for him I suppose. But seeing him in this state, I just couldn't do anything to put on more on his shoulder.
First got to know about this song when reading the 2nd book of 50 shades trilogy.
ReplyDeleteThen got hooked to it, and now Glee covering it.
Love that song.
:)
It is really beautiful song. Sigh.. I wish I could honor what the meaning of the song. I really feel so helpless..
ReplyDeleteBlog is always the place for express and vent your feelings =)
ReplyDeleteLove thsi song covering by glee so much. Really found some peaceful from it.
I hope it could help.. Jus felt like being trapped all the time..
ReplyDelete