Life has always been kind to me. Yes it wasn't easy, but it wasn't cruel either. Time to time, you adapt towards every step you take. We evolve. Dreams and hopes comes true. Some were dashed, but that is the beauty of life.
For a certain time in our lives, we all been through that dark times. Things doesn't goes your way. You feel lonely, you feel you have no one there to hold on to. I wouldn't say it was an easy thing to overcome. Cause the fact that it is not.
I know at times, I would distant myself from everything when things are going south. When I tried to talk to a friend, it naturally just create a wall for you and you would just shut down. There are so much frustration. But maybe we might die trying, but I've learned.
We usually will see the dark side of the world, we feel like we are on a tightrope. You turn, but I stay straight. We are so messed up and tangled. But the only thing we wanted is to just be in your good graces. There are people around me that are fighting for their lives, there are some that are fighting for their love to go on, and there are too those who just wanted things to be what they wanted and just giving in to everything there is just to feel.
I am not judging, I am not assuming. To me, there are people who will stay in your life, and there will be some that comes and goes. With what life has given me, I strive for simplicity. I would be there to hear a dear friend vent. I would be there for my love ones regardless. But I will not just stand there waiting for things to happen. Life will keep going and with the condition I am living with, I wouldn't wanna waste a single second of it just to wait.
A very close person in my life will go through surgery next week. Things would be easy if the circumstances were just that, but no... Like I mentioned, life always throw you a curve ball.
Life is short? You only live once? Those phrases doesn't work on me. Living with terminal cancer, it is a whole crazy experience. You wouldn't do things that would just doesn't make sense to you. And I wouldn't say life suck. I found someone I really love, I have a group of people that understand what life is about, and I have a team of wonderful and magical individuals with supreme gifts. I am learning to love again, I am learning to live again, and I am learning to write music again.
I was asked how music is for me, but there is no words at all I could put down to describe. Writing to me is an outlet. Producing and arranging is revisiting all those times we have in our life. And listening to it now is just therapeutic in many levels. And the rest is just a part of life you once remembered.
No one could take that away from me. That is something that is apart of me, and it is just how I walked on the tightrope. You may die trying, but you will know that you have your reasons. There will come a point, you will stop asking why the world or why the people around you are in a way that you thought they were. But in fact, they are always just there waiting for you to pull it through. No one will be able to fully understand that physical and emotion torture you are in, but we are just always there regardless.
The world isn't that cruel. It is just sometimes, our mind is playing around. I love how my life turns out to be. Yes, it isn't perfect, but it is a bloody damn good one to grow and understand how things could be. So far, I manage to walk through that rope on the other side.