Embracing The Inner Emotions

Whenever I push that button to go forward too fast and extreme, I tend to be vulnerable on a crash landing. Sometimes, it isn't about the things we are going through. It is all that we tend to ignore and hide it under the rug. And facing the dust that was trapped under is just a matter of time.

The emotions that were held up is now fighting to get through me. Sometimes, or I should say I push them away all the time. Especially when I have work to be done. And now, it was just perfect for it to fight it's way out again. In another way of saying it, song writing mode is on.

Sometimes life, gives us a different route. But sometimes, there is always a good in every way it is. I had a heart to heart talk to two besties of mine. Both of them just asked me the same question.

"Tell me honestly how is your condition. I can handle it. I just wanna know. Good or bad."

Honestly, I wish I knew how to answer this simple question. I asked myself many times. But the thing is it will never be a clear direction of how things could be or how things could get. When you think it will be bad and ugly, it will just give it a twist. Whenever you think that it will be good and well, it ill go the other round. But on how I see it, take a step at a time.

There are many things that I wish I could just do without thinking it over. But there are also times that I need to just let go of things I wanted to do. As irony as it could get, learning to accept and being able to feel is one solution. There are many occasion that I wish to put on that kinda personal writings in our music. But we both know it will be a niche demand for it. As much as you wanted too, the fact is we knew that the label will say no. As much as we both are trapped, but we will somehow make it through. Just that the timing isn't now.

But how I wanted my path to be? Fact is, I finally felt tired. I needed that rest. Yet the heart felt like a piece of organ that doesn't belong. And without a way to end that pain, the hunger grows. And eventually the heart just got numb. I just wish I could understand a little better, and maybe that emotion will be different.

Out of the blue, a really good friend send me this. And finally, it just made sense to me now.

Embrace the void, fill the surreality and exhale the rush. You will see what can be done next, even though it might just be silence rush. - by A.K.