Running Away

You dropped the bomb
And now you're gone
I held you dear
You swallowed my fears
And now I've drunk my last beer with you

Oh you, you have been loved by someone good
Yeah you, you will be loved
Oh will you ever know
That the bitterness and anger left me long ago
Only sadness remains
And it will pass

Yeah you you will be loved by somebody good
By somebody good

It all began with this beautiful song. I grew fonder to her work. I was asking how many artists or writer today out there still creates music for music? We all know there aren't many. Somehow, the more I listen to it, the more I know it forces me to face reality. There are so much that is going on right now sometimes running away is one of the coping machanism that works.

When excuses are running out, I realize sometimes it is just feels like you are being tied to the bed and left naked. Being left there, being vulnerable, and helpless. Running away seems the right thing to do. Putting it all into my music and somehow, I feel that if I am not talking about it, it won't be so surreal for me. And yes, I guess it isn't just the right time to pen it down right now. 

Every moment that pass through right now, it feels like a time bomb. You have no idea what will happen next, I know it isn't easy to understand, but I'm sure everyone in my ACS family would know how this feel is. I just won't break. I know eventually, it will cost me something, but it is all I'll ever do.

I wish I'm good in words. My music somehow would be complete if only I could express it in the way I could in my melody. Cow has been busy being a mom now, and I really don't wanna take that away from her. But who else that would understands me enough to help me finish up all this melodies? Dumdum? He would be the last person I would want to hear what I've written. 

I guess these few weeks has been the toughest period for any of us. But a promise is a promise. A 5 minute video a day. That is all we could compromise at this moment. Even though it is good on my creative side,  can't stop wondering if the circumstances were different. The more I think of it, the more I know it will be a blank page. 

I'm unprepared, I'm scared. But what more I could do? What more I could give for all these hurt to stop? I need a sign, I need a way...