Further Down The Road

The more I loop Say Something by A Great Big World ft Christina Aguilera, the more all the things I didn't wanna feel came flowing in. When sometimes the fear that we hide just keep making it presence more dominant. I know that this decision that I have taken will change everything from here.

But the thing that keep running in my mind is why so. The answer is really simple. I am just simply tired. And after so many years, it just make no more sense to me. I wanted something more that I can held on to.

From where I am heading right now, I just feel that it doesn't matter any more. I feel so small and I am nothing at all. I sat in front of the piano for 4 hours today. All the chords I manage to come up with are so melancholy. But the flow doesn't really make any sense to me.

Thinking back on where we are, I know that a part of you understood why I choose to be this way. I know you are hurting right now. But you love me for who I am. You always let me decide what is best for myself. Even some of them doesn't seems that way to you. I love you Dumdum. And it's more than anything I can ask for. But right now, I really needed this. I really do. I know no matter where our path leads us to, you will follow me and I will follow you.

Whenever we stumble and fall, there will always be a part of us that will eventually crawled up again. For now, I just wanted to follow the list and see everyone that I love. I can't wait to see my barbz and also my besties who are coming back next month. One from Aussie, one from Sweden, and one from Singapore. I don't wanna be sorry and saying I couldn't get to you. But there is only one person I really got no idea would I be able to is Leo. I know timing is everything, but just... Everything seems so far for now, and far is something luxury I can't afford.

I don't know it is just me or the song is really moving. I didn't wanted to feel this, but yet, it feels so right. All the binding strings that held me together just break lose. Standing there and let everything flow. I know it will be great time for me to start writing my music, but all I wanna do now is just let it be. Everything just felt right.