Void

When you score a draft, then you kept it. After a few years, you brought it up, produced it to a track. Every moment in the past is like writing it down in a journal. I remember all the things I thought I wanted it to be. My heart just came to life. Every story has it's thoughts. 

Come whatever, I will be the shelter when the rain comes. The pain cuts you deep, but is there a way out? Every single note you score it just doesn't seems like the note it was suppose to be. You are in need of a remedy. I am in need of that remedy to fill up the void. 

Sometimes, pain in life is something I cherish. It makes me into who I am today. For some reason, it just pushed away so many things that doesn't matter. The more we try to pleased the world, the more I felt I'm being cornered. I need a keeper. I need a guard. I don't need pretense, I don't need guilt. I just need a way to fill up the void.

Sometimes I feel lonely with the arms of your touch. But I know it was just me letting myself to go places I shouldn't. It ease in the veins, or just call it "a need for my job". The more reasons I look for, the more effective it helps me in my work. But when it is all done and over, the void flows in and I felt I am missing a part of me. I'm being cruel to be kind. I needed the space between me and myself. I do not wanna carry on acting to be fine. I just can't face that void growing inside. 

It is the world to me that you are in my life. But I need to survive. To earn my strips, I have to pay to bear my pain. I know I'm not the only one who regrets with what we've done. I miss the air of the rain, that scent is just calming. Sometimes I just thought it's only me, who just didn't become the person who I thought I would've become.